Just who exactly is the garrison commander around here?

First, a little back story. A very little.

I was out fishing for hours. Literally hours. I hate fishing with a burning passion but whatever, I am a completionist, and I want that stupid level 3 fishing shack and that goddamned stuck up fishing snob Pat Nagle to be my follower. So I am fishing. A lot. I hate it and I should probably never do so much of it all at once ever, ever again.

After all this fishing and tedium and wanting to put my eyes out with forks, I decide to call it a night and log out to watch something funny before heading to bed because let’s face it, 6am comes extra early after a five day weekend.

Before I do log out though, I decide to check in with my shitty little level 2 fishing shack to see whether I can turn some of my hard work into cold, hard gold. And I am reading over the daily quest text when something jumps out at me:

fishing quest


“I need you to search the waters in Spires blah blah blah…”



Dear quest giver guy whose name I don’t even know because you are so irrelevant to me,

YOU need ME?

You NEED me?

Fuck you, random quest giver guy.

I am the goddamned garrison commander here.

I’m going to need YOU to get off YOUR lazy ass and go pond-diving or whatever the fuck until you can stock this garrison pond your own damn self. I am off saving the fucking world from the Iron fucking Horde. What are you doing? Huh? That’s right. NOTHING. Where the ever-loving hell do you get off telling me you need me to do something for you?



Alas, the mildly deranged

Catching up

Well, where to begin? It’s been a crazy few months since I last wrote. My being sick (and convinced I was going to die alone) turned into a long trial, involving a lot of anxiety, an actual diagnosis for an anxiety disorder (with OCD, my doctor wrote in his notes, also confirming that suspicion) and dysphagia, which is fancy medical talky speaky for “has difficulty swallowing.”1

My dysphagia was so severe for a while, that I wasn’t even really getting enough water down and I spent a few days dehydrated and dizzy, wondering what was wrong with me and would I ever be able to eat food again. In a few weeks, I dropped nearly 20 pounds and that was about the best thing I had going for me even though it was done in such an unhealthy manner. Life was bleak, is what I am saying.

I went to an ENT specialist and had a scope jammed up my nose. I don’t recommend anything about the whole enterprise. He couldn’t see anything wrong and so I was scheduled for a barium swallow study and thus had the singular experience of watching myself (via x-ray) chew and swallow things that were coated in barium. That helped to assuage some of my anxiety, which was the real dysphagia-causing culprit all along, but I still went back to my doctor and got a prescription for an anti-anxiety medication that I could take daily.

That very same day, At was let go from his job for reasons so breathtakingly stupid that I am still not sure how to summarize. The best I can come up with is that the owner of the company had no idea just what the hell At did and so decided he must not be doing anything. 2 The upshot of which was that he rather understandably forgot to pick up my prescription on the way home and was awfully wary about breaking the news to me, thinking I might just break down once and for all from the stress of things.

I didn’t.

In fact, my reaction might be all the proof that could ever be needed to show how contrary I am on an elemental level. I freaked out for about a minute and then I calmed down. I told At that I thought it was great that he wasn’t working for those jerks and that I had hated them for years. I told him I felt peaceful about this change and that I knew there was something great out there for him. And then I ate real food like a normal person.

I never did start taking that prescription.

Since then, all has been mostly well. I still have bouts of anxiety and the accompanying sense of tightness in my throat. When that happens, if I am with At, we bundle up and take a walk together. If I’m at work, I try reciting the Bene Gesserit’s Litany Against Fear3. If that doesn’t work, I call At and we talk about anything and everything that might distract me.

Oh, and less than a week later, At had a new job with a 50% bump in pay. So I guess I was right about there being something amazing out there for him.

I also have a new job, which makes for four different jobs this year for me. That is absolutely ridiculous, even by my standards, but I have to admit to some excitement over this latest position. Not for the work itself (I’ll be an office manager for a dental practice), but for the fact that it’s part time. Even when I’ll be working a full time schedule when the other office manager (my sister, actually) is out on maternity leave, I’ll always be starting my weekend on Thursday afternoon, with Fridays off because the office is always closed on Fridays. Yes and please. Also, thank you.

And that’s real life in somewhat brief detail.

This got longer than I had hoped it would, but rather than go back and actually edit anything down, I’ll just plan on another post for my WoW-based impressions and experiences. And with such a plan in place, maybe I’ll actually take another break from just enjoying playing to write about how much I’m enjoying the playing.

Hope everyone out there, no matter whether today is Thanksgiving for you or not, has as much to be thankful for as I do!

  1. And I’ve already heard and/or made all the “That’s what she said!” jokes, so making them will only be redundant.
  2. They have started to find out just how many things At was doing and they keep using At’s former minion to ask for advice on how to fix things. It’s a shitty situation because At doesn’t really want to help those assholes out, but he doesn’t want to make the former minion’s life unduly difficult. Fortunately, said minion is looking very actively for a new job and we’re I’m vengefully hopeful that At’s former employers will soon find themselves entirely up Shit Creek with no paddles.
  3. I’m not even a Dune fan, but I think the Litany is truthful and powerful.

I’m back in so many ways and I bet you didn’t even know I was gone

Oh, hello there. Time flies whether I’m having fun or not, it seems1. I feel a bit as though I was just recently posting here, but it’s now October and it appears that most of the year has quite passed me by without my managing to actually write much in the way of anything.

In fact, I have been so negligent as of late, that when our hosting provider suddenly discontinued giving me their opening rate and jacked my plan up to the regular rate costs, I almost decided to just say farewell to the whole thing2. Or, at the very least, to go back to the free wordpress version.

Yet, here I am all hosted still. It took a lot of doing on At’s part, but after a lot of failed updates and import/exports, my content is mostly back in place and it almost looks as though nothing at all has changed except for on my site (for those who use a feed reader and remain ignorant of what my website looks like, past or current) where it was glaringly obvious that I needed a makeover. Like woah3.

I am back in WoW (and in leadership), too

But like I said, I am back in so many ways. One of the most major and exciting to me, is that I am back in WoW for realsies. I never quite left (had to get Lythium to 90 for the sake of Project QuATT), but now I am (a bit sadly) unsubbed from WildStar and gearing up for WoD.

Very importantly, I am not alone in that endeavor! I’m not swearing it’ll stick, but for the present, Zel and Gnoble have started playing again as well. I’m trying to rope some other former guildies back into the fold as I once threatened to do, but the jury is still out on that front. My persuasion skills, they have never been all that great.

So this might not stick either4, but for now, I am happily GMing a new Eff the Ineffable. It’ll be much like the last one, only with a GM who has grown less tolerant of bullshit in the past few years. A GM who learned much from taking a step back for a while into peonship and saw some really good and some not-so-good examples of other leaders in the meanwhile. Whether I can truly emulate the good examples remains to be seen. Hell, the whole question might be a moot point anyhow.

Having a fraction of the people back who have always mattered most to me in this game ever since we found each other has been invigorating in a way. I’m spending much more time online when not beset by real life plagues, and am making steady progress on many fronts. This has naturally generated some ideas of crap to write about here, and I am hoping to get back to some semblance of a more frequent and hopefully more regular pooping posting schedule. 5

So yeah. I am back. Maybe not so much on Twitter. And maybe I have no idea who I should even still be reading out there in the WoW blogosphere. And more than likely I’ll never get back to a daily posting schedule. But I do have hopes that I won’t fall off the edge of the earth for months at a time as has been my recent wont. Guess we’ll find out!

  1. Except for this last week when I was sick and pretty sure I was going to die. I was neither having fun nor experiencing a rapid passage of time.
  2. Regular rates are hella expensive, yo.
  3. But Zel has been working on that because she’s awesome and I suck and now it looks so much better than it did. Like woah.
  4. We’re actively looking at another guild on the server right now, actually
  5. I say this, but it’s taken me a week to write and post this one thing. Even taking into account The Plague, that doesn’t bode particularly well.

It’s no-pants day in WildStar

Usually, when I log on, my character is standing around in her skivvies. I understand this is a common bug. But today things were a little different and I admit I laughed out loud.

No pants day


Anyhow, I’m alive. I’m playing. I have three or four blog post ideas rattling around in my head. But my limited free time has been going towards actually playing, so there’ll probably be continued long delays between my nonsense here.

See you when I see you!

Wherein Alas is an accidental officer

Welp. The title says it all, really. How did that happen?

If I still thought like a blogger, I would have screenshotted the whole thing and lazily posted pics, but it turns out that I don’t think like a blogger very much these days. I’m never in the middle of something and think, “Oh, document this for your two readers!” It only comes to me after the fact, like the next day, when I’ve called in sick to work and am pondering what to do with all the glorious free time I’ve just gifted myself.


Pictured: Alas pondering

Anyhow, we’ve had seven or so of us sharing a chat circle in WildStar and sort of idly bumming around, visiting each other’s housing plots and not really doing anything very organized. In the middle of all this, we got to talking about whether we should start a guild just to have a guild bank or whether we should see if we could find someone willing to take all of us in and provide the structure while we provide the drunken yammering.

Then one of us found a guild and another one of us contacted them with a highly nerdy RP request to talk and they informed us that they’d like to discuss a takeover (hostile if necessary) and somehow, even though I only barely got involved in the takeover discussion in the last ten minutes, I was elected to be the unofficial leader of our group.

Which, okay, given that all but one of our group are former Effers, I guess it makes sense. But I wasn’t really prepared for them to not only ask for an informal leader, but to then also have Zel and Gnoble immediately inform them that I’m a tyrant and should be given that role and then (after much polite back and forth about whether Zel or myself should really take on the role) learn that whoever got the position would also be immediately promoted to an officer position within the guild, there to have a vote on all guild matters but no real other responsibilities other than herding the rest of my absent cats into the guild.

So I’m an officer again, and a little conflicted, because there’s nothing I hate more than an officer who has a title without a job.1

I intend to address that, of course, but first I want to take some time to get to know the culture of the guild and the individuals in it a bit better. Part of it is not wanting to step on any toes and part of it is trying to determine what my own strengths in this MMO will be. Where I was comfortable leading 10-man raids in WoW, the idea of trying to coordinate more than that is a bit daunting. So I guess we’ll see where I manage to make a niche for myself.

All in all, I’d say that I’m very encouraged for my own future with this game. Finding a guild that appears to have the same values and outlook that we had in Eff is a spectacular thing and my having a place in leadership again makes me feel instantly more invested.

  1. Possibly, there are some things I hate more. Like lawyers.

Gettin’ wild in WildStar

Okay, not really. My explorations in WildStar have actually been rather sedate up to this point, except when I lose my shit and start yelling at the screen that I WAS TOO OUT OF THAT MOB’S TELEGRAPH AREA AND WTF HOW AM I DEAD AGAIN?

Not that I do that.



I don’t know what’s happening here, but I look like God’s own idiot.

Honestly, I haven’t been able to play as much as I would like to, just like I don’t have enough time to write as much as I want to. I recently told At that I simply don’t have enough hours in the day. And that’s true. I have too much going on in general, but it’s work in particular that is killing me.

I guess that serves me a bit right. I knew I had it relatively well at my last job as far as free time and the ability to do whatever I wanted with it went. The new job is nothing like that. I don’t have to deal with people, but it’s impossible to really slack off and not have someone notice.

Anyhow, when I do get to play, I am concentrating only on my Esper. She’s all of level 15 or 16 or so, and I find myself passionately hating the fact that I have nowhere near enough gold to spend on a mount and no clear idea of how to obtain gold. I thought of the Auction House, of course, but it informed me every time that I had nothing to sell. I found that to be more than a trifle odd given that I have all kinds of crap in my bags.

So then I thought I wouldn’t spend any cash on things – my housing is untouched except that I named my plot of land in the sky. This plan, admirable though it might have been, fell apart the moment I leveled up and bought new abilities. I’ve been so spoiled in not having to pay for those in other games that I rather overlooked the fact that there was a cost associated with each one in WildStar. God job, Alas. Good job.

I’d say that I am looking forward to playing this weekend and I hope I will get some time, but I already know it won’t be more than an hour or two for sure.

After all, tomorrow is the 11th anniversary of the day I married that At guy. Given that, and the fact that I am trying somewhat unsuccessfully to not dwell on the fact that it also should have been my due date, we’re going to get out and splurge a little and concentrate on the celebratory aspects of the day. And I’m going to drink wine. So much wine. So here’s hoping At’ll keep me away from Twitter over the next 48 hours!

Wherein Alas briefly gets her act together

So I’ve been meaning to write for upwards of a month about Wildstar, the fact that I pre-ordered it, dinked about in a few of the beta weekends and plan to play it for the foreseeable future. Exciting, no?

I’m a bit nervous about the fact that we’re about to hit launch and I am only mostly sure that I want to play an Esper. During the beta weekends, I exhausted myself on the Exile starting quests in an attempt to try out various classes, and even then I only tried four of them. They all seemed to have a sweet spot and then turned into a hellish struggle and then evened out a bit more. So here’s hoping that the Esper will stay evened out for me.

At least I and my friends who are playing plan on being Dominion in actual practice, so even if I do end up re-rolling early on, I won’t already be sick unto death of the starting quests. I guess that’s something.

I am even more excited about the prospect of playing with some larger numbers of my online family again, a thing that hasn’t been the case since about six months after the swtor launch. At times I can only think that online communities are mere sandcastles that crumble immediately with the turning of the tides. But then I find that some remnant of my own personal sandcastle has remained and that we are bound more tightly than mere hard-packed sand ever could be.

And that is something else again. To be able to call my online family by that name and to have it mean something. It’s good and I am once again hopeful as I greet the coming of a new game and all its attendant possibilities for rekindled relationships and entirely new ones.

If you’re planning on playing Wildstar, what excites you?

Not with a bang but a whimper

This is the way a guild starts
This is the way a guild starts
This is the way a guild starts
Not with a bang but a whimper.

-With apologies to T. S. Eliot

So. I’ve restarted my old guild on a new server. Why am I so effing insane?

It’s taking more than a while to gain any traction, and I’m honestly not sure how things will turn out in the long run. I feel a bit as though it’s just another plate in the handful of gaming plates I am juggling, but it’s one that seems more important than the others do. Still, no matter my sense of urgency, it’ll be months before I know how things may turn out.

Starting a guild in the twilight of an expansion is maybe not the smartest idea. On the flip side, it made slightly more sense to start it now than it did to wait for the beginning of WoD.

I’ve reached out to a small handful of the Effers that I’m still in touch with. “Looking to reboot EtI,” I said. “I’ll GM, with even less tolerance for bullshit drama than I had before. We’ll flex raid a couple times a week. We’re all busy adults here, but I think we can make it work.”

Replies have trickled back. I have four whole people in the guild now, half of which are myself and At. Yngwe the Pretty just joined up and dinged 90 for the first time ever. Azzah the Mighty has been running randoms with At and myself in an effort to earn that pesky guild XP. We’re a level 5 guild now and I have dreams of establishing a decent enough cash flow to permit for some guild repair money to become available.

A couple people are sitting on the fence, strong maybe’s if WildStar doesn’t end up working out. In a way, I am almost one of those people myself. I intend to spend the summer trying WildStar out, but I honestly don’t have any expectations for the end game working out for me. That was mostly to do with raid size – I’m not a huge fan of big raids. Recently did a 16-man in SWTOR that left me underwhelmed and feeling generally lost in the crowd. And then I read this, and I thought no, it doesn’t seem likely that this will work out for me. I can be serious and I can be focused and I can be dedicated, but I don’t know that I can be hardcore.

Balanced against that is my bone-deep need to regain a sense of community in my game. I enjoyed my time with ProCo and I think it was good for me to take such a huge step back and become somewhat more uninvolved with the workings of a guild. But my efforts in the past few months to try to join in on an already established community have fallen more than a little flat. Part of me doesn’t mind this, because who could ever be better than the people who made up the halcyon days of EtI? Part of me thinks trying to recapture that former splendor is a foolish dream.

Whether it is or isn’t maybe doesn’t matter though. I’m at least going to try because not trying at all would be the far bigger failure in my mind.

And hey, maybe easing myself back into a part of the game that I’ve always been passionate about will give me more to say around here. Guess we’ll find out, one day at a time.

The Evolution of Alaskah

So I’ve been playing SW:ToR off and on for a few months now. It’s been more on than off lately, not that anyone in my guild would be able to tell it since gaming is certainly a thing that has been shuffled a bit to the side while I’ve been selling my house, getting ready to move and getting ready to start a new job pretty much all at the same time.

So has blogging, but that’s a win for anyone still reading. All that ever presents itself as a thing to say is that I hate moving. I could whine about that forever, but I’ll keep such boring chatter confined to Twitter.

Anyhow. Since I’ve started playing Star Wars again, my new main character (having gone Imperial since I last played) has been through something of an evolution. She started off as a Twi’lek….

Alaskah 1

Literally the only picture I could find of her, wherein she was about to smooch Hawtpirate.


She remained blue and lekku-accoutered all the way up until she hit level 50 and I had unlocked the race. In retrospect, I have no idea why I waited, since the lekku proved to be rather obnoxious with all their clippy, buggy ways and I can’t imagine ever rolling another Twi’lek.

In the name of being somewhat original on the Imperial side, I went Mirialan, since that is what Alastriona, my Jedi Sage, was. Is. She still exists.


Alaskah 2

This isn’t jaundice, it’s her skin color.

That lasted for all of a month before the skin color issues got to me. Do you know what colors look good with the particular shades of green and yellow that are in the Mirialan array? Not many. And when you’re in the same guild as Njessi and want to avoid being featured in the Fashion Hall of Shame, you start to care about how well put-together you look.

That’s just how it is.

Which brings me to the third step in the Evolution of Alaskah. A boring human.

Alaskah 3

Obviously, humans are boring if you also happen to be one IRL, which I am, more or less. Sadly, I am not this hawt.


And I think here is where Alaskah will stay, at least in most things. I like the hairdo which is available only to humans, and the scars are interesting, though not as cool as the tattoos that Sith Warriors get. My lovely blue and black garments don’t clash with my skin and hey, maybe one of these days I will put as much effort in getting my gear to look good as I have my damn avatar.

But first, I need to get back to packing.