Leveling is just like real life

I had a birthday recently and a cousin wished me happy by pointing out how many more “levels” I had to get until I hit the cap and, presumably, died. I found it funny, although my cousin was apologetic for how morbid it sounded. It also got me drawing comparisons because, as you might know, I am super lame.

I like sharing my lameness.

Leveling – just like real life*

Levels 1-10: Just like real life, these go by quickly – almost without your even realizing it. You don’t know much and things are easy.

Levels 11-20: These years are frittered away thinking you already know all there is to really know about who you are and what you want out of life. Namely, you want to drive. Once you start driving, you want to be able to drink. Once you start drinking, you want to get out and explore the world and pick up hot members of the other sex (I’m not sure how that last ties into the game but whatever).

Levels 21-30: These years are where you start to solidify your identity. You’ve chosen a career path and you’re pretty committed to it. All the things that used to seem grown up and exciting from a distance prove to be mostly another iteration of crap you’ve already done before.

Levels 31-40: You start to become somewhat jaded because life has become so routine. There is nothing new or exciting. Except a faster car mount. You have a midlife crises and get the shiniest model you can. You might also find yourself hemorrhaging money on other things you don’t really need but that you really want.

Levels 41-50: Once the excitement from the midlife crisis fades, you settle back into work. Every zone day is a challenge and things are starting to slow down. The glory days of your youth when everything was new and exciting seem very far away and you start to wonder if you’ll ever make it to the end.

Levels 51-60: More of the same from the last decade. Only as soon as you hit 58, you retire from the slog you’ve known all your life in order to pursue a new and exciting opportunity in a new environment. Things are looking up once again and in the fresh excitement of your new surroundings, you start to make some serious cash and begin pelting towards old age more quickly than ever.

Levels 61-70: You pretty much don’t even feel these years go by. You’re traveling a lot more and do a lot of flying. You’ve learned pretty much all you’re going to learn and are constantly honing and perfecting your skills. People much younger than you are always asking you for help and pretty much make you feel revered. Or annoyed. Whatever.

Levels 71-80: The analogy mostly crumbles here, but chances are you’re pretty wealthy and able to support the lifestyle and habits of the newer generations. You complain bitterly about how when you were 20, you had to scrimp and save for your first ride even as you mail off a sum to Junior so that they can have the latest model of horse, knowing full well that you’ll also be providing their midlife crisis money to them as well.

Then I guess you die. Or get bored of the dailies and stop playing until you get a chance to age five more levels. Like I said, whatever.

*Sort of. You know, in a way. Okay, not really.

Comments

Leveling is just like real life — 2 Comments

  1. Yeah, new 20's these day have no idea how good they have it. I remember getting the pokey mount at 40 and having to save up for that mount at 60… Good times, good times…