It’s been a while since there’s been any mention of that attention whoring dinosaur around here. It’s been nice. But I know that everyone out there who doesn’t have to actually put up with Tamarind the Nearly Completely Useless quite likes him, so here’s an update.
Firstly, I have unearthed the reason why DinoTam is always talking about lotions and moisturizers! Go look!
He had to resort to using the code phrase, I suppose. There is duress involved I tell you. Duress!
And now for something completely different.
A story of how DinoTam is unbearable
As I am sure everyone is aware, the retaking of Gnomer has at last begun. This event has managed to send my emo little moderately sized pet into a downward spiral. My days are filled with vociferous complaints that go along these lines:
DinoTam: Let’s go ea- I mean help the gnomes. They need to reclaim their homelands!
Esyllt: I’m afraid we can’t help.
DinoTam: Can’t? Don’t you mean you don’t wish to? I know you think gnomes are creepy.
Esyllt: Well they are. But seriously, we can’t.
DinoTam (in full pout): You never want to do things I want to do!
Esyllt: I could say the same of you.
DinoTam: (stomps off to pout)
DinoTam: (returns) I’ve been considering this Gnomer thing.
DinoTam: We should go. It would be delic- I mean, it would be the right thing to do.
Esyllt: (sighing) Look, I want to go help out. But King Mekkawotsisname is only taking volunteers that are more seasoned that I am.
DinoTam: You need more salt?
Esyllt: No. I mean he wants people with more fighting experience under their belts.
DinoTam: Well, I can see where he might consider you to be useless since you never do any of the work. But he’ll accept my services, surely. I mean, just look at me! (preens) I’m a veritable paragon of fighting strength and ability.
Esyllt: Oh, come off it. You just want to eat the gnomes anyhow. I’m not taking you down there.
DinoTam: (whines) But, they look so delicious! And there are so many of them, all in colorful shells.
Esyllt: You know what? Go to your room. I’m taking Spanked with me next time I go out.
DinoTam: (Dissolves into a rage and then tears)
Oh yeah, it’s all I hear about. Gnomes are delicious! Why can’t I go eat them? I’m thinking of tranqing him until this whole gnomes-finally-get-their-act-together business is all over.