On farewells

I’m writing this on the slow and hated laptop as I sit on a camp chair in what is largely an empty house. The movers came yesterday and I watched as they wrapped up all my furniture and carted out all my boxes. It felt surreal. It still does.

There are only a few more days to get through – days spent with my family for the holidays, one more day of work, a few days of driving right after everything between here and there has been slammed with winter storms.

To say I am stressed would be an understatement. Even in these few and fleeting quiet moments, my mind is full of what I must do for real life to get through the next several days and this is good because it takes my mind off what I’ll have to do when I get back to WoW.

I really didn’t need for a game to become another source of stress, but it has.

It seems strangely fitting to be now surrounded by empty, echoing rooms and to be looking ahead to a difficult journey. It seems right that it should be difficult to let go of a place that, no matter how much I dislike it, has become familiar and even comfortable. And it makes sense that the place to which I am going will be familiar but so different from what I used to know. It helps that there will still be familiar faces, if not as many.

And so it goes. The  whole world changes even as it remains exactly the same as always.


On farewells — 16 Comments

  1. First of all Happy Holidays.

    Second. Things may seem chaotic now, but Chaos is a good thing. Through Chaos comes Knowledge. Knowledge of your strengths, and your weaknesses. Knowledge of who you can trust, and who you can’t. Knowledge of who your real friends, and who isn’t.

    Through Knowledge comes Power.

    • You certainly have that right – I have learned who my friends are not in this time.

      Thanks for the support!

  2. As this reminds me so much of something I’ve written a long time ago, I’ll just post the beginning of that post here, if I may .

    “To some people it is intimidating to see the rest of their life set before them like a white page torn from an old book. Alone and lost, they feel overwhelmed by the myriads of possibilities, the uncertainty that is so inherent in every man’s life yet so much more apparent in the stage of a reorientation or new beginning. They feel bereft of the ties that kept them safe, floating in mid-air like a homeless leaf. Or a puppet that got its strings cut through.”

    …and yet, I always felt there was great comfort in an undestined road or an empty, wide open sky before me. when there has nothing been written yet, anything can still happen…if you turn the page, you get another chance at your story.
    stability is only an arm’s reach away from stagnation. safety can be no more than a rope tied to your leg or the cage you live in.
    life is change. embrace uncertainties. be your own home and take it with you wherever you go.

    Best of luck to you Alas and happy holidays, should you celebrate them. :)
    – Syl

    • I quite like this and it is very appropriate. Thank you for sharing it! Thank you also for the well-wishes and I hope you also have a wonderful holiday season.

  3. I wish you the best of luck with the move. I can imagine it’s a big change and rather daunting at the time. I’ve done it myself when moving between countries and it’s always rather scary. But have faith that things will settle down and before you know it you will feel at home in your new place (or you can be like me and keep a few boxes unpacked for months.. cause you just don’t know where to put everything!)

    In any case, Merry Christmas to you and At and I hope that you can feel some peace during the holidays.

    • I cannot begin to imagine moving between countries, so at least I have that going for me. :P I am moving home after all.

      The day before I leave, it is finally sinking in that I’ll be leaving this place. And yet, it’s so surreal.

  4. I can only imagine how bad the timing on everything has been. This familiar face sends you hugs. Enjoy your holiday, enjoy your family. Worry about the rest of it later.

    • Thankee Elfi! I did enjoy my time with my family, even if I did suffer without running water for the whole time. :P

  5. I hope you enjoy the holidays and your new/old home. I’m in the last days of vacation in my hometown, and there have definitely been some depressing changes here (it’s in Michigan after all). Sorry for adding to your stress in-game. The timing was, as always, terrible.

    • Once again, I don’t feel you picked the timing. Other people did and I place all the blame for whatever extra stress I have endured on their shoulders.

      Fortunately, I have been home recently enough and there are changes but few of them have been depressing (although I am sad my favorite diner chain has all but closed). I’m sure once I am there again you won’t be able to get me to shut up about both how lovely it is to be home (and in excruciated detail why) and how unlovely it is to arrive in the dead of winter.

  6. Your own Cataclysm, your own shattering. Everything changes, some things might get broken but the new opportunities are boundless.

    Safe journey and great luck.

    • If only I liked change in real life as much as I have enjoyed it in game!

      I joke. I am getting closer and closer to being exultant that I am leaving the Midwest. I am sad to see that some friendships got shattered along with everything else, but as I didn’t make the choices that led up to that I am trying to take a pragmatic view of things and remind myself that at least I am leaving the area so there won’t be awkwardness in the long run.