Weight Loss Wednesday

God. I can’t help it. I’m lame. We all know this. So, yes, Weight Loss Wednesday is now A Thing.

With the great move of 2010-2011 finally over, I’m getting back into a real routine at last. Back in Missouri, I had a walking partner with whom I walked once a week. There was also a biking path near the house and in my last few months of living there, At and I would sometimes bike it or just walk it after dinner. That didn’t happen often due to Missouri being super humid and also full of ticks and chiggers. EW.

Now I’m in Utah where I had Big Plans to get out and do things, but in point of fact, I haven’t been hiking even once. Winter gave way to a rather cold and rainy spring and then we hit summer with a vengeance. Perhaps one of these weekends we’ll get out early enough that the heat won’t be a huge detriment, but in the meantime there’s the treadmill (and the hauling boxes around while moving – that totally had to help, right?) and, since unpacking, the Wii and such gems as Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred, which is more like a 20 minute death to the fatties program. That’s all I can deduce from the fact that it nearly killed me.

Anyhow, since I last had a scale (December) and now, I’ve contrived to lose about 25 pounds. I’m excited about that progress but I also still have a long way to go. Since I am nearly 30 and my metabolism has slowed way the hell down, I’m not sure that I’ll ever get back to my former weight (about 110 pounds when I got married), but I’ll be happy with getting back into a healthy BMI range. For the short term, I’d like to lose 10-15 more pounds by my birthday. For that to happen, I’m going to have to increase my activity and possibly drink less wine.

With that in mind, I’ve dedicated myself to (among other things) walking at least three times a week on the treadmill (outside if I can fit it in during the cooler parts of the day) for 90 minutes. This has led to more flower farming and fishing for the guild bank so we can have nice things. And, you know, when my ass is hot enough for me to get it inked, I’ll totally get a tattoo of a priest doing the disco inĀ honor of spite of the sure to be forthcoming objections to the idea from At and maybe Liala herself for introducing me to the idea of a treadmill desk but, in the meantime, it turns out that walking and WoWing continues to be dangerous! Maybe even life threatening!

Last weekend I managed to inadvertently turn the treadmill speed up to something like Way Too Fucking Fast while trying to attend to a little last minute banking stuff. I evidently don’t think very well under pressure because my response was to yelp and blindly smash at ALL THE BUTTONS until I could get it slowed down enough that I wasn’t in danger of completely losing my balance and ending up in a crumpled heap on the floor.

While informing my guild mates of what an idiot I am and joking about how getting myself dead isn’t actually very healthy, the treadmill spontaneously stopped. Spontaneously and abruptly. I nearly face planted into the desk. What ensued was more discussion about how I probably ought to give someone else GM in case of my accidental death. I promised to write a note to At to let him know that if he found my corpse in the shower (from slipping and falling, obviously), he ought to log into my account and turn the guild over to More.

Fortunately, I didn’t die and found myself farming more herbs the next day when my shoelaces wriggled themselves free and I experienced my third close call of the weekend for a broken neck. When they burn my body, I mused, I ought to have it arranged to have: “Died in pursuit of Azshara’s Veil” engraved on the urn. Followed by: “Probably not worth it.”

Now, assuming you made it this far, you’re probably wondering something like, “Ye gods, will she ramble on like this every Wednesday? If so, I know when to avoid this place!”

No, probably not. Unless I am amused by my own near-broken neck experiences, in which case yes. Also, you might want to consider avoiding this place pretty much every day. You’re welcome.

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6 Responses to Weight Loss Wednesday

  1. It has been said. You said it. It cannot be taken back or forgotten!!!

    IT’S IN BLACK AND WHITE, EVERYONE, SHE’S GETTING A DISCOPRIEST TATTOO!!! :D

    (And try not to kill yourself on your quest for belfbody!)

  2. Saga says:

    I really really want a treadmill with a stand for the laptop. Despite the apparent death trap that it appears to be! It seems so cool, and useful.. I can totally see myself watching NCIS (my current drug) while walking and farming herbs/mines. Or doing the dreaded Archaeology.

    There’s just so bloody expensive over here. Time to save money!

    Very funny post though – I’m totally in on the DiscoPriest tattoo. For you.. not me.. !

  3. Zelmaru says:

    I demand MSPAINT arts of said near-death experiences. Complete with panic-face and flailing.

  4. Andy says:

    Ramble moar!

    Also: how fast do you set the treadmill? I’m wondering how fast one could, er, tread, before having to resort to actual running, thus having too much vertical movement to make WoWing at the same time practical. I am imagining some sort of ludicrous synchronised desk oscillation mechanism that would match the desk’s height to one’s torso position, allowing simultaneous jogging + computer use. Some kind of magnetic mouse/mat would be necessary, I think.

  5. Firestryfe says:

    I’ve been thinking about getting http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001I8A1Z2/ref=ox_sc_act_title_2?ie=UTF8&m=ATVPDKIKX0DER

    just so I can exercise and play games at the same time without as much “falling on my face” risk.

  6. elfindale says:

    You should totally try my new biking and playing WoW idea. On rare occasions my knees will get carried away on the upside of the pedal and bump the redneck-rigged desk my laptop is on, but I’m in no danger of falling down or breaking my neck.
    http://worldofelfi.wordpress.com/2011/07/25/the-one-with-the-redneck-problem-solving/