Eff the Ineffable wants you!

Okay, possibly we don’t want you… or you… or that smelly guy over there in the corner, but we are looking to pick up another member for Team Heal. If you’ve been living under a rock, you can also read about this here and here. And I suggest you do, because all the explanation you’re going to get from me about my guild can be found here.

What my peons colleagues failed to mention in their posts are the many perks available to a member of those Effing Healers. So in case you require any more impetus to come join us (not that I can tell why you would because, hello, we’re the Effers), here are some selling points to persuade you in the proper direction:

  • You’ll get to hang out in a secret channel with Zel, Laral and Rhii. If you know any of these people, that is enough said right there. I hear they’re extra snarky in there.
  • Team Heal has all the real power in the guild when raid time comes around. And sometimes when we’re just thinking about raid time coming around.
  • I’m pretty sure you’ll get some sort of strange ability to communicate with other members of Team Heal even when not in game. Zel claims this is due to google chat, but I think there’s really some sort of freaky mind meld thing going on there.
  • Since you won’t be a priest (because we have enough of those already), you’ll pretty much get all the gear. This is less true if you’re a druid healer and more true if you’re a shaman or a paladin.
  • I will give you so much cake you’ll be brushing the crumbs out of your bags for months to come.
  • If you like being part of a team and not feeling like you’re competing with your own team members, this is the place for you.
  • I’m likely to turn a blind eye to some amount of letting people die to their own stupid. Provided it’s not ME.
  • Drummed up drama about it notwithstanding, I don’t actually believe in forcing two-healing on anyone.
  • Sometimes, Twig is our raid leader. We all know to watch out for muddy mudslides.

And just to be fair, here are some cons about joining the Effing Heal Team

  • I’m the GM of the whole guild and an active raider. You’ll have to put up with me quite a bit.
  • The tanking syndicate has declared war against Team Heals.
  • People The Loot Master I think it’s funny to pretend that we’re just going to shard all your gear. I’ll say it every time because it apparently doesn’t get old for me.
  • Certain mages can get awfully derpy and require most of your mana pool to atone for their mistakes (this is, uh, me again. And maybe that other mage who loves the floor).
  • Zel is a tyrant. No one in Team Heal has actually said this, but I’ve seen her britches and they are bossy.

In conclusion, if you want to join the insanity, please email me or contact Zel or drop by our forums or roll an alt on Azuremyst and accost whoever is there. None of us bite very hard.

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