See the flames begin to crawl

December 2 has been a banner day for me for the last dozen or so years.

On December 2, 1998, I met At online. Didn’t know when I went looking for that argument in a chat room to blow off some teenage steam that I would find the love of my life.

We celebrated December 2 as an anniversary of sorts for every year to come. Happy anniversary, you. I’m so glad I met you.

A few years ago, also on December 2, I became an aunt for the first time. That’s when the little Terrorfiend was born. So convenient of her to come on a day I could be sure to remember.

Before she ever came along though, also on December 2, 2006, I started my free 10-day trial of a little game called World of Warcraft. According to my account history, I bought the game 10 days later. And I’ve never unsubscribed.

Until now.

When I wrote that last post, I hadn’t been planning to take the steps that I did. But I had a very long talk with At and it ended in my unsubscribing from WoW and informing the Effers that I would need a replacement GM within the month.

In a lot of ways, this is something of a non-announcement. I was on the 6-month plan and a week ago is when I re-upped. So while I might be unsubbed, I also have play time until April. And it’s not as though I couldn’t re-sub any time.

The biggest change is the stepping down as GM. When I saw that start date in my game history of December 2, and started counting, I realized that of my five years of gaming, four and a half of those years have been spent in guild leadership. And when you consider that At’s tenure of GM might as well have my tenure as GM – only frustrated because I couldn’t enact all my ideas and plans – well, that’s a long time to carry the burden.

I’m concerned that so far no one has indicated any interest in taking on the role of GM for the Effers. I’d hate to think that people are going to just scatter. I feel some pretty terrible guilt because I suppose it’s somewhere in my nature that I want to make sure people are having a good time and I feel as though I am letting everyone down.

But like my decision to leave my last guild, this was a decision that wasn’t made in the heart of drama or in a fit of despair. It was made rationally, soberly and sadly. It was also made blaming Zel. She’s leaving me, guys. And I can’t do it without support.

I don’t know what my future is for WoW in particular and for gaming in general. Fortunately, I now have some time to figure it all out without the tethering restraints of leadership binding me to a game I just don’t love as much these days as I used to.

Oh, and this blog? I’ll still be around a while longer. This isn’t the last goodbye.

Comments

See the flames begin to crawl — 10 Comments

  1. “I’m concerned that so far no one has indicated any interest in taking on the role of GM for the Effers. I’d hate to think that people are going to just scatter. I feel some pretty terrible guilt because I suppose it’s somewhere in my nature that I want to make sure people are having a good time and I feel as though I am letting everyone down.”

    You’re not letting anyone down, and you shouldn’t feel guilty. By stepping down you give up responsibility for any of that stuff. If none of us has the juice to step up and take over, that is not your fault. You just pulled back the curtain that revealed that.

    Dare I say those are big shoes to fill.

    • I can’t help feeling guilty. I care about all you Effers after all.

      Leave my shoe size out of this, though!

  2. “Dare I say those are big shoes to fill.”

    I’d heard a rumour that Alas had massive feet… ;)

    Something I find incredibly annoying is when people obviously fall out of love with something (let’s say WoW), but carry on doing it, complaining how rubbish it is and how broken it is and stupid other people are for not seeing it, before finally stopping doing the thing they no longer like (and often proceeding to go on and on and on about how bad the thing they no longer like is, and how blind they were, and how stupid other people are for *still* not seeing it etc etc).

    Not because they shouldn’t be allowed to change their mind about something. Not because interests can’t wane, because incremental changes can’t necessarily add up to a big disconnect. Just because it’s bloody inconsiderate to other people.

    Unless I’m missing something and you’ve spent the past couple of months being (even more ;)) grumpy and abusing the other Effers (even more :D)), kudos to you for being graceful.

    Also: t’would be a shame to lose your writings, rantings and the like. Unless you’re planning a permanent cessation of all blogging, I hope you’re able to leave your … heh … legacy … accessible.

    As your post isn’t a last goodbye, I guess this isn’t a last /sidle either :)

    • @theanorak – I’ve been privy to those feet rumors, as well. She has At thoroughly squelched, though, so we may never know until *someone* meets her in person and spills the beans from his or her own command bunker.

      And yes, the abuse has been escalating, but I honestly thought it was because of how hideous her tier gear was. She’s such a fashionista.

    • First, I am glad this isn’t a last /sidle. In fact, the amount of /sidling that hasn’t gone on lately is just sad. We must fix this.

      Second, I’ve been trying really hard not to dump on WoW because I recall being massively irritated when people would do so because they apparently felt some need to justify to the world that they were playing some other game or just not gaming any more or whatever it was. And all the concerns I have about MoP have been more than discussed elsewhere, so even a semi-rational discussion from me on that isn’t needed or probably wanted.

      I did end up telling a friend of mine who does not play WoW and is bored by the very idea of WoW that I was quitting. This ended up a bit awkwardly for me as a potential Christmas gift for me was going to be a year’s sub. So who knows but that I might have a year and half before the final curtain falls, all thanks to a loving friend? It’s pretty funny.

      Which brings me to third: I am leaning very heavily towards keeping this site not only hosted, but also shifting it into a more general sort of blog. I do love this WoW community and, while I would completely understand if many people were reading only for WoW and would abandon ship if I started babbling about my real life cooking exploits, I would hope those that I feel closest to might stick around and laugh at my kitchen derp (which would be similar to my other derp, which I always thought was the real main attraction around here).

      Lastly, I don’t know who told about my enormous feet, but it’s true. I have them and thus must wear enormous shoes. It makes me sad not to be dainty, but what can you do?

      • Omg. Enormous girl feet unite, yo. Although I don’t really regret not being able to wear the dainty little high-heeled shoes, because I am afraid of heights. :P

        • And I find that I like to get into the stupid, teetering heels because my feet look less ski-like in them. Of course, it’s not practical in this job so I am wearing flats and trying not to injure anyone!

  3. I don’t know whether to hug you or throw something at you. So I’ll just sit quietly and be sad if that’s okay. /sit

    • Awww. This is why I have guilt. I’m a sucker for people acting like they give a crap I’m around and doing my thing.

      But as I stated below, I don’t really have any immediate plans to quit blabbing here. I like blabbing too much to quit.