December 2 has been a banner day for me for the last dozen or so years.
On December 2, 1998, I met At online. Didn’t know when I went looking for that argument in a chat room to blow off some teenage steam that I would find the love of my life.
We celebrated December 2 as an anniversary of sorts for every year to come. Happy anniversary, you. I’m so glad I met you.
A few years ago, also on December 2, I became an aunt for the first time. That’s when the little Terrorfiend was born. So convenient of her to come on a day I could be sure to remember.
Before she ever came along though, also on December 2, 2006, I started my free 10-day trial of a little game called World of Warcraft. According to my account history, I bought the game 10 days later. And I’ve never unsubscribed.
When I wrote that last post, I hadn’t been planning to take the steps that I did. But I had a very long talk with At and it ended in my unsubscribing from WoW and informing the Effers that I would need a replacement GM within the month.
In a lot of ways, this is something of a non-announcement. I was on the 6-month plan and a week ago is when I re-upped. So while I might be unsubbed, I also have play time until April. And it’s not as though I couldn’t re-sub any time.
The biggest change is the stepping down as GM. When I saw that start date in my game history of December 2, and started counting, I realized that of my five years of gaming, four and a half of those years have been spent in guild leadership. And when you consider that At’s tenure of GM might as well have my tenure as GM – only frustrated because I couldn’t enact all my ideas and plans – well, that’s a long time to carry the burden.
I’m concerned that so far no one has indicated any interest in taking on the role of GM for the Effers. I’d hate to think that people are going to just scatter. I feel some pretty terrible guilt because I suppose it’s somewhere in my nature that I want to make sure people are having a good time and I feel as though I am letting everyone down.
But like my decision to leave my last guild, this was a decision that wasn’t made in the heart of drama or in a fit of despair. It was made rationally, soberly and sadly. It was also made blaming Zel. She’s leaving me, guys. And I can’t do it without support.
I don’t know what my future is for WoW in particular and for gaming in general. Fortunately, I now have some time to figure it all out without the tethering restraints of leadership binding me to a game I just don’t love as much these days as I used to.
Oh, and this blog? I’ll still be around a while longer. This isn’t the last goodbye.