Here is the last installment of Zel’s WoW Iliad. Talk about a guest post that kept on giving!
WoW Iliad – Book 1 Parts 8 and 9
Now after twelve days the GMs came back in a body to Blizzard HQ, and GM-Zeus led the way. GM-Thetis was not unmindful of the charge her son had laid upon her, so she got to Blizzard HQ early, where she found the mighty GM-Zeus sitting all alone at his desk. She sat herself down before him, and besought him, saying:–
“Supervisor Zeus, if I ever did you a favor or covered your shift, hear my request, and do honor to my son, whose game time is to be cut short so early. Guild Leader Agamemnon has dishonored him by taking his prize and keeping her. Honor him then yourself, and grant victory to the Hordies, till the Alliance give my son his due and load him with riches in requital.”
GM-Zeus sat for a while silent, and without a word, but Thetis besought him a second time. “Incline your head,” said she, “and promise me surely, or else deny me–for you have nothing to fear–that I may learn how greatly you disdain me.”
At this GM-Zeus was much troubled and answered, “I shall have trouble if you set me quarrelling with GM-Hera who is Alliance 4 lyfe, for she will provoke me with her taunting speeches; even now she is always snarking at me before the other GMs and accusing me of giving aid to the Hordies. Go back now, lest she should find out. I will consider the matter, and will bring it about as you wish. See, I incline my head that you may believe me. This is the most solemn promise that I can give to any employee. I never recall my word, or deceive, or fail to do what I say, when I have nodded my head.”
As he spoke GM-Zeus bowed his dark brows.
When the pair had thus laid their plans, they parted–GM-Zeus to his conference room, while GM-Thetis quitted the splendour of Blizzard HQ, and returned to her satellite office.
The GMs rose from their desks, before the coming of their boss. Not one of them dared to remain sitting, but all stood up as he came among them. There, then, he took his seat. But GM-Hera, when she saw him, knew that he and GM-Thetis, had been hatching mischief, so she at once began to snipe at him. “Trickster,” she cried, “which of the GMs have you been taking into your counsels now? You are always settling matters in secret behind my back, and have never yet told me, if you could help it, one word of your intentions.”
“GM-Hera,” replied the boss of GMs and players, “you must not expect to be informed of all my counsels. You are my wife, but you would find it hard to understand them. When it is proper for you to hear, there is no one, GM or player, who will be told sooner, but when I mean to keep a
matter to myself, you must not pry nor ask questions.”
“Lolwut?, answered GM-Hera, “ I? Pry and ask questions? Never. I let you have your own way in
everything. Still, I have a strong misgiving that GM-Thetis has been talking you over. I believe, therefore, that you have been promising her to give glory to Achilles, and to kill many of the Alliance.”
“Wife,” said GM-Zeus, “I can do nothing but you suspect me and find it out. You will take nothing by it, for I shall only dislike you the more, and it will be so awkward at home. Granted that it is as you say; I mean to have it so; sit down and hold your tongue as I bid you for if I fire you, though all HR were on your side it would profit you nothing.”
On this GM-Hera was frightened, so she curbed her stubborn will and sat down in silence. But the GMs were disquieted throughout the office, till the cunning CSR-Vulcan began to try and pacify GM-Hera. “It will be intolerable,” said he, “if you two fall to marital spats and setting this office in an uproar about a pack of players. If such ill counsels are to prevail, we shall have no pleasure at our lunch room. Let me then advise GM-Hera–and she must herself know that it will be better–to make friends with the boss GM-Zeus, lest he again scold her and disturb our break room. If the boss wants to fire us, he can do so, for he is far the most senior, so give him fair words, and he will then soon be in a good humor with us.”
As he spoke, he took a double cup of coffee, and placed it in GM-Hera’s hand. “Cheer up, ” said he, “and make the best of it. I love you dearly, and should be very sorry to see you get a formal
reprimand; however grieved I might be, I could not help, for there is no standing against GM-Zeus. Once before when I was trying to help you, he caught me and put a written warning in my file.”
GM-Hera smiled at this, and as she smiled she took the cup from CSR-Vulcan’s hands. Then CSR-Vulcan drew coffee from the coffee pot, and served it round among the GMs, going from left to right; and the GMs laughed out a loud applause as they saw him bustling about the office.
Thus through the workday they snacked, and every one had his full share, so that all were satisfied. GM-Apollo booted up Itunes, and the Muses sang along, calling and answering one another. But when it was 5pm, they went home to bed, each in his own abode. So GM-Jove, hied him to the bed in which he always slept; and when he had got on to it he went to sleep, with GM-Hera by his side.