Yesterday morning found me at work, logging into all my characters on Azuremyst and stripping them of anything that might conceivably be of use to Alas in preparation for her venture away from her support system of 9 alts to the welcoming embrace of a new guild.
I know it’s a bit shocking that someone still took me in even after my drunken, vindictive and hypocritical ways came to light. But I justiced myself pretty good and have fooled the new guild with my backwards standards. (Actually, I suspect if the new guild gets rid of me for any reason in the near future, it’ll be because they’ll be sick of hearing those phrases while I still think it’s pretty damn hilarious.)
Anyhow, I loaded Alas up with everything that I thought might be useful: gold, heirlooms, herbs, enchanting mats and some random BoE’s I could auction off and, bags packed, I made the transfer. I only regret I had to leave so much gold behind. Stupid 50k cap.
It took about an hour before everything went through and then I had to come up with a name. That was the most difficult bit of all, both in terms of finding something that wasn’t taken and in letting go of Alastriona or Alas as an identity. Between that and the semi-recent change to Draenei from human, I feel as though I have a whole new character. Probably the one I would have had from the beginning, had I started playing in BC rather than vanilla.
The new guild seems lovely so far, quiet and peaceful. I find myself spending more time in WoW now than I have since December, though still not as much as I had before then. I asked At this morning if he was silently judging me for spending so much time in WoW as I have been (he’s firmly entrenched in SWTOR, though several weeks behind me in reaching the level cap), and he laughed at me and said no. I joked about how it was probably the new guild smell, but I really think it’s the complete and utter lack of responsibility.
I’ve not really had that in a place where I believe I could also be home – only in little throwaway guilds meant to prevent random people from inviting me to their guilds. And while I would certainly be willing to contribute in some way to the new guild if I saw a need, I’m also pretty superfluous and that’s not going to change from all I can tell.
So that’s me. I feel I’ve come to rest in a good place. All it took was getting over my feelings of fear and inadequacy. And allowing myself to think only of me and what I wanted and needed. But that’s a whole other post for some other day.