I really dislike confrontation.
Oh, I’ll rage at other people on the road all day long (I have to, living here) and will occasionally get so worked up that I might shoot someone the bird and/or honk at them and gesture as wildly as though I, like At, were three parts Italian. I’ll also keep up a running commentary out of Vent while raiding. So far, I don’t think I’ve tripped up and hit that PTT key while doing so (unlike certain other people). We haven’t yet begun to scratch the surface of the scathing venting I might pour out here, depending on whether or not I get pushed into it.
But when it comes to putting on my Co-GM hat and actually having to sit down with someone to discuss issues? Oh, I loath it. I will put it off as long as I possibly can, all the while knowing that it probably won’t be so bad and I should just do it. Usually, I am correct, and it’s not that bad.
I do end up with a bad taste in my mouth though, nearly every time. Because when it comes to that sit down, I aim for firm but not mean and end up waffling right on over to soft. I am so eager to not be a jerk that I will often say my piece half-apologetically. And honestly, why? The person I am talking to screwed up and should be able to take a correction. If they can’t and get huffy about it – well, why should I want that person in my guild to begin with?
This is all stuff I know and understand from a logical standpoint but the follow-through is decidedly lacking. I am sure I will have plenty of opportunities to practice delivering my piece without coming across as forcefully as a snowflake though.
And in the meantime, dear guildies who read this: If I ever have to sit down and talk to you and I end up sounding like I am sorry for calling you on your shit, please know that somewhere even deeper inside my gooey center, I really mean to shape the fuck up or go DIAF. And if you don’t, I will kick you out of my guild and tell every GM of every guild you subsequently join that you are a douche bag who cannot be trusted to follow even the simplest of instructions and they will rue the day they ever picked you up, etc. etc.
Okay, maybe not that exactly, but I really do want everyone to shape the fuck up. Or go die in a fire made up of my burning rage.