I knew right then that I’d return
To where I was before
And I was so tired of being away
That I just couldn’t stay anymore
-Brandi Carlile, What Did I Ever Come Here For?
This is as much a surprise to me as it probably is to you. No, I wouldn’t say I’m back or anything even remotely close to it. I haven’t missed blogging about WoW and I haven’t even really missed playing it for the past three months or so.
So why am I here?
Well, it’s sort of funny. Or at least I think it is.
The first part of it is that I have given up blogging about gaming at all. My SWTOR blog was short-lived! Turns out, that I don’t have the same wish to blog about gaming as I used to. I’ve come full circle and am actually elsewhere, attempting to write about things that occur to me as they relate to Real Life. It’s an interesting experiment for me since I’ve only told about five people what that URL is and my real life nonsense doesn’t come with a built-in potential audience in the same way a blog about an MMO does.
At the same time, writing about this specific topic doesn’t seem at all right for a real life space. Because it’s about WoW and about how the nostalgia that has kicked in lately is making me pine for the familiar climes of Azeroth. So for the same reason I left this space to write elsewhere, I am also coming back for this one little ramble that doesn’t belong anywhere but at Kiss My Alas.
Because if anyone might get this feeling I’ve been having, I suspect it’s someone who forgot to unsubscribe when I quit a few months ago.
And that’s the rest of the reason that I’m here. Because I’m homesick for my first MMO.
In the past few months a lot has happened. One of the most major events being that we got this kitchen (and the rest of the house too, I suppose):
Because our sellers bought a short sale, they didn’t move out until late June, which worked out well for us in terms of the lease on our last place. The last week and a half has been a blur of boxes and stress and everything else that goes along with moving.
Most importantly, we don’t have Internet access as of yet. Because At decided to get a fiber connection. And there was no fiber existing in the neighborhood previously. Still isn’t, in fact. We have to wait until July 5.
So until that gets done, we have our home office set up and precious little that we can actually do there. (It’s been startling to see just how frequently my answer to anything is “Just Google that” when I’m not able to actually do so.) But one of the things I could do and that I now have the proper motivation to do (see: owning my own house again), was to actually find and prepare some screenshots from WoW to be printed out and stuck in a giant ass frame that I am totally going to hang in that beautiful kitchen.
Going through my folders of screenshots was a massive trip down memory lane.
It was a need to go home and a homecoming all at once.
The feeling I had was honestly bizarre when I stopped to think about it. It was almost as if these images were of places I had physically been. My heart longed for Azeroth in the same way it longs for Capitol Reef – a real life place that is so wrapped up in glorious childhood memories that it is unlike any other spot on this earth as far as I’m concerned.
And as I looked at image after image with places I could readily identify, I realized I was wrong to think I played WoW for the people. They’re an important part for sure, and major pieces of all the reasons why I’ve stayed and why I left, but I also find that I love Azeroth for Azeroth’s sake.
So for the first time in several months, I logged back in and – pleasantly surprised to see I didn’t get kicked out of the guild I moved to – just basked in the quiet of an empty guild and a less-than-busy Stormwind street.
Until I noticed it’s Midsummer. My favorite WoW holiday ever. And because I ache to see all the little spots that I think of as a virtual home, I immediately set about to piss on some Horde fires.
And now I know that as much as I enjoy SWTOR and as little inclination as I have to ever leave the wonderful guild I have there, WoW will always be my first love. I guess we’re just not completely done with each other yet.