post is unrelated

If I were smart and more patient, I’d probably do several smaller posts over a greater span of time rather than dish up another disjointed collection of the topics rattling around in my head. But patience has never been my strong suit.

And I like to pretend that randomness is an endearing quirk of mine.

I like to pretend a lot of things.

We won’t get into it now.

Since my last post

Self-indulgent QQ posts are useful, it seems. Admitting to you guys that I’ve been sucking somehow made the road to eventual pwning less daunting. I’ll be working intensively with Arcane this week and have already made decent amounts of progress in UI tweaking and action bar modifying. Throwing everything out and starting over isn’t something I like to do more than once or twice an expansion if I can help it, but apparently there is sometimes no use but to do so again and again until things feel right.

I’m nowhere near there, but I’m feeling like actual progress is being made. I’m seeing better results in stage one of spec testing than I did last time.

Also on the WoW front

After writing my last post, I had a really good chat with a guild mate last night and while a lot of it doesn’t need to be gone over here, she did confirm to me a thought I’ve been having lately. Like that I should get over myself and quit hiding out in semi-secrecy.

Okay, she didn’t put it quite like that. It doesn’t even matter how it was put. The point is, it’s been months and the batshit crazy people seem to have lost interest in me.

I bet no one cares, but my main’s name is Liosliath and I’m in Production Company on Moonrunner. (And now you can all armory me to lol at my half-assed attempt at mogging. I’m okay with it.)

I’d still like to change my name to Alas-something, but despite finding good Alas-based names for some of my alts, nothing has seemed quite right for my main. So it’s Liosliath until something better happens along and isn’t already taken. (If you have an idea, hit me with it. I will make you mana pudding.)

Also? My BattleTag is Alexx#1204. It’s entirely possible that I will accept friend requests from anyone deranged enough to send it my way.

Moving on is important and I’mma do it. Bluntly and randomly, as is my wont when I finally make up my mind about something.

A real life thing

Speaking of moving on. This morning, as I debated what to wear, I grabbed a pair of pants from my closet thinking I would try them on just to see how I was doing. I have several items like this in my closet that serve as goal posts on my path back to a healthy weight.

This particular pair of pants has been a major goal of mine ever since I started losing. If I could fit into them, I would be back to where I was before I started working in IT, got horribly depressed and started drinking way too much.

I don’t mind talking numbers for a minute, so let me explain that in the 2.5 years I worked that IT job, I went from a size 12 to a size 20 and most of that came within a span of only about 9 months. Talk about getting stretch marks without even getting a baby to show for it. The most I weighed in my life was when I quit that job and moved back home and I was tipping the scales at 210 pounds.

I’m still overweight, but dammit1, I made it back into those pants.

It’s a goddamn2 personal triumph. And I am proud of myself for having made it this far, which is good, because it’s been discouraging lately to see how far I still have to go.

But today, I see more clearly how far I have come. I see how I have undone that time of depression. I see how I have clawed myself at least partway out of the pit.

And maybe this post isn’t as unrelated as I initially supposed. Because everywhere I look, I see that hard work will eventually pay off. And being open isn’t that fucking3 hard.

  1. I don’t know why I’m swearing so much in this section.
  2. There I go again. I’m happy. Honest!
  3. It’s like a sickness with me.

Comments

post is unrelated — 2 Comments

  1. PANTS is a funny word. PANTS. PANTS PANTS PANTS. YAY PANTS.

    Aaaaand now that I sound like a deranged moron…

    You should change Liosliath’s name. Mostly because I had to copy and paste it from your post to avoid misspelling it, and I haven’t a fucking clue how to pronounce it. And clearly it’s all about me. If I were in PC I’d be tempted to call you Lio for short, but then I’d just default to Alas because dammit you don’t even have a RL name you’re just ALAS.

    *ahem*

    Sorry. Exuberant swearing.

    Also, I’m totally BT-friending you because it gives me the illusion that I have friends. And as we’ve established, it’s all about me.

  2. Dude, I am so totally proud of you. For the openness, the moving on, the hard work on and dedication to your toon, and for the pants. But most importantly I am both very proud and happy that you are able to see more clearly how far you’ve come.