Flipped a switch

So I had been contemplating a rant regarding the biggest source of frustration and /headdesking in my life right now, that source being the new receptionists at work, all of whom are so incredibly stupid that I’m not certain how they manage to even get themselves here on a more or less daily basis.

But then yesterday morning I got yet another “come to Jesus” talk from my boss, because once again, those receptionists threw me under the bus for something that I didn’t actually do. And I realized that when I try to gently correct their fuck-ups, I inevitably end up being made to look like the bad guy and their boss lands on my boss who then lands on me and the whole story of what even happened has gotten to be so far from the actual events that I’m not certain how it possibly got twisted from what it was to what it sounds like it was.

Contrast that with my vindictively not telling the receptionists that they should probably think about getting some chairs moved into a conference room for the Shareholder’s meeting (they had to coordinate getting drinks and lunches for more than twice the room’s standard seating capacity, so why they thought a room that only seats ~25 wouldn’t need more chairs is lost on me), and the outcome was that they were the only ones to get yelled at for a change and the whole giving up trying to make things go more smoothly becomes a no-brainer.

I could either try to go above and beyond and be a team player only to get shit dumped on me, or I can do only my job and no more and get left alone.

Alas votes for being left the fuck alone.

But it’s strange how detached I feel now. I mean, I’ve never cared a whole lot about this job or making these assholes happy, but my work ethic has always caused me to care at least a little bit. Now there’s nothing. I’m coasting along on pure apathy and it’s actually pretty nice. Or at least, it might make this situation survivable until I can find a new job.

But in the end, I find that this newfound lack of giving a fuck has also robbed me of my ability to work up a proper rage in order to write a proper rant. At least about this.


Flipped a switch — 2 Comments

  1. Oh, I have *so* been there, and I know exactly the feeling you’re talking about after deciding that, if no good deed goes unpunished, there shall be no good deeds. It was time to move on. In my case, I didn’t, and got let go eventually; had I been more proactive and gotten another job somewhere else, I’d’ve probably had a lot less stress over the last year.

    It made me sad, knowing nobody wanted to improve things.

    • Honestly, I think it is sad that it has come to this. I don’t understand a work environment where people can’t ultimately pull together towards a common goal. It’s so oddly competitive and back-stabby here, in a way I haven’t seen anywhere else I’ve worked before. And you know I have worked some shitty jobs.

      I’m applying for new jobs left and right at this point. I think if I were to try to stick it out, I’d eventually end up getting fired over some of these baseless charges because my boss is a boot-licking wuss.

      But most of all, in an odd way, I am sad that I don’t care. I’ve always had my work ethic and I’ve always tried to persevere. This feels like giving up and even if it ultimately makes things easier, it goes against who I am deep down inside.