Noxy and I are often perplexed by the other when we have conversations carried out over Google chat during the long and dull workdays. We usually talk about something that happened in WoW the night before and it’ll go something like:

Alas: I can’t believe we had three people show up 5 minutes after raid start time and ask what was going on.

Noxy: it happens

Alas: I mean, c’mon, can’t any of these people look at the raid calendar or the guild tab? Not that effing hard. /anger! /rage!

Noxy: Here is a pic of a lolcat to cheer you up

Alas: Hah!

Noxy: Izzat better?

Alas: Yeah, but I’m still going to murder the next idiot who asks a retarded question.

Half an hour later:

Noxy: So, uh, I hope this isn’t a retarded question, but are we going to try using that new addon in tomorrow night’s raid?
*ducks from fireball*

Alas: lol! What are you even talking about?

And so it goes from there. The point is, he usually thinks that while I am making idle death threats and complaining about stupid questions that I am really and truly on a killing tangent. We’ve also had more than one misfire where I will say something about being “irritated” and he will take that to mean “Alas is frothing at the mouth and will just as soon stab me as look at me.”

To that end, here are two helpful charts (I was going have them be mapped out for men vs. women, but I know a number of freakishly even-keeled women and a number of freakishly turbulent men, so it didn’t really work. Still, feel free to apply them to whichever dramatic or non-dramatic persons you might constantly be misunderstanding.):

This post has been brought to you by a lack of sleep and a general inability to pay attention to anything for more than a minute at a time.