And here is Chapter 6 of Pride and Prejudice and World of Warcraft. Please don’t forget that I am holding a contest with prizes and accepting entries until April 27! Details can be found here. Hopefully my nearly total lack of knowledge of PvP won’t make this chapter too unbearable.
Chapter 6
The raiders of <Longbourn> soon waited on those of <Netherfield>. The visit was soon returned in due form. Jane’s pleasing ability to keep them all alive through the worst of chain pulls grew on the goodwill of Mrs. Hurst and Caroline; and though the GM’s wife was found to be intolerable, and the newer DPS not worth speaking to, a wish of being better acquainted with them was expressed towards the two best geared. By Jane, this attention was received with the greatest pleasure, but Elizabeth still saw superciliousness in their treatment of everybody, hardly excepting even Jane, and could not like them; though their kindness to Jane, such as it was, had a value as arising in all probability from the influence of their main tank’s admiration. It was generally evident whenever they instanced, that he did admire her and to her it was equally evident that Jane was yielding to the preference which she had begun to entertain for him from the first, and was in a way to be very much desirous of healing only him; but she considered with pleasure that it was not likely to be discovered by the server in general, since Jane united, with great strength of healing, a composure of temper and a uniform mana management ability which would guard her from the suspicions of the impertinent. She mentioned this to her friend Charlotte.
“It may perhaps be pleasant,” replied Charlotte, “to be able to impose on the public in such a case; but it is sometimes a disadvantage to be so very guarded. If a healer conceals her affection with the same skill from the object of it, she may lose the opportunity of healing only him; and it will then be but poor consolation to believe the server equally in the dark. There is so much of gratitude or vanity in almost every attachment, that it is not safe to leave any to itself. We can all begin freely—a slight preference is natural enough; but there are very few of us who have heart enough to be really dedicated to a tank without encouragement. In nine cases out of ten a healer had better show more willingness to heal than she feels. Bingley likes Jane undoubtedly; but he may never do more than run heroics with her, if she does not help him on.”
“But she does help him on, as much as her nature and mana pool will allow. If I can perceive her preference for healing him, he must be a simpleton, indeed, not to discover it too.”
“Remember, Eliza, that he does not know Jane’s disposition as you do.”
“But if a healer is partial to a tank, and does not endeavour to conceal it, he must find it out.”
“Perhaps he must, if he raids enough with her. But, though Bingley and Jane meet tolerably often, it is never for many hours together; and, as they always see each other in large mixed raids, it is impossible that every moment should be employed in Bingley watching his Recount to see who has healed him the most. Jane should therefore make the most of every boss fight in which she can command his attention. When she is secure of healing him through progression content, there will be more leisure for speaking of joining guilds as much as she chooses.”
“Your plan is a good one,” replied Elizabeth, “where nothing is in question but the desire of progression raiding, and if I were determined to get a geared tank, or any tank, I dare say I should adopt it. But these are not Jane’s feelings; she is not acting by design. As yet, she cannot even be certain of the degree of her own regard nor of its reasonableness. She has known him only a fortnight. She healed four boss fights with him at Naxx; she saw him one morning in the bank at Dalaran, and has since healed him in random heroics four times. This is not quite enough to make her understand his tanking ability.”
“Not as you represent it. Had she merely healed him, she might only have discovered whether he had a good block rating; but you must remember that four heroics have also been spent together—and four heroics may do a great deal.”
“Yes; these four heroics have enabled them to ascertain that they both like HoS better than Occulus; but with respect to any other leading characteristic, I do not imagine that much has been unfolded.”
“Well,” said Charlotte, “I wish Jane success with all my heart; and if she were recruited to his guild to-morrow, I should think she had as good a chance of happiness as if she were to be studying his gear and be.imba ratings for a twelvemonth. Happiness in raiding is entirely a matter of chance. If the dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to each other or ever so similar beforehand, it does not advance their felicity in the least. They always continue to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation and guild drama; and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the persons with whom you are to raid.”
“You make me laugh, Charlotte; but it is not sound. You know it is not sound, and that you would never act in this way yourself.”
Occupied in observing Mr. Bingley’s attentions to Jane, Elizabeth was far from suspecting that she was herself becoming an object of some interest in the eyes of his friend. Mr. Darcy had at first scarcely allowed her to be geared; he had looked at her without admiration at the raid; and when they next met, he looked at her only to criticise. But no sooner had he made it clear to himself and his friends that she hardly had a good feature in her gearing choices, than he began to find it was rendered uncommonly intelligent by the throughput of her DPS. To this discovery succeeded some others equally mortifying. Though he had detected with a critical eye more than one failure of perfect symmetry in her gemming choices, he was forced to acknowledge her enchants to be thought out and pleasing; and in spite of his asserting that her DPS numbers were not those of the leet raiding world, he was caught by their steadiness – she did not fluctuate as wildly as many DPS he had seen. Of this she was perfectly unaware; to her he was only the tank who made himself agreeable nowhere, and who had not thought her geared enough to raid with.
He began to wish to know more of her, and as a step towards conversing with her himself, attended to her conversation with others. His doing so drew her notice. It was at Sir William Lucas’s, where a large raid were assembled for a pre-made.
“What does Mr. Darcy mean,” said she to Charlotte, “by listening to my conversation with Colonel Forster?”
“That is a question which Mr. Darcy only can answer.”
“But if he does it any more I shall certainly let him know that I see what he is about. He has a very satirical eye, and if I do not begin by being impertinent myself, I shall soon grow afraid of him.”
On his approaching them soon afterwards, though without seeming to have any intention of speaking, Charlotte defied her friend to mention such a subject to him; which immediately provoking Elizabeth to do it, she turned to him and said:
“Did you not think, Mr. Darcy, that I expressed myself uncommonly well just now, when I was teasing Colonel Forster to capture the Blacksmith?”
“With great energy; but it is always a subject which makes a DPS energetic.”
“You are severe on us.”
“It will be her turn soon to be teased,” said Charlotte. “I am going to head for the mine, Eliza, and you know what follows.”
“You are a very strange creature by way of a friend!—always wanting me to capture objectives no one cares for! If my vanity had taken a turn for odd achievements, you would have been invaluable; but as it is, I would really rather not get ganked trying to capture an objective nearly alone.” On Charlotte’s persevering, however, she added, “Very well, if it must be so, it must.” And gravely glancing at Mr. Darcy, “There is a fine old saying, which everybody here is of course familiar with: ‘Get the blacksmith or lumber mill, ffs!’ But I shall do as Lucas Pwnage commands.”
Her performance was pleasing, though by no means capital. After a death or two, and before she could reply to the entreaties of several that she would help with the farm, she was eagerly succeeded at the mine by her guild mate Mary, who having, in consequence of being the only one in the guild who enjoyed PvP, worked hard for knowledge and accomplishments, was always impatient for display.
Mary had neither genius nor much resilience; and though vanity had given her application, it had given her likewise a pedantic air and conceited manner, which would have injured a higher degree of excellence than she had reached. Elizabeth, easy and unaffected, had been encouraged with much more pleasure, though not performing half so well; and Mary, at the end of a long duel, was glad to purchase praise and gratitude by throwing a few heals, at the request of the DPS in her party, who, with some of the Lucases, and two or three PUGs, joined eagerly in defending the stables at one end of the battleground.
Mr. Darcy stood near them in silent indignation at such a mode of passing the evening, to the exclusion of all attempts at winning any of the battlegrounds, and was too much engrossed by his thoughts to perceive that Sir William Lucas was sending him tells, till Sir William thus began:
“What a charming amusement for young people this is, Mr. Darcy! There is nothing like PvP after all. I consider it as one of the first refinements of polished guilds.”
“Certainly, sir; and it has the advantage also of being in vogue amongst the less polished guilds of the world. Every noob can queue for it.”
Sir William only used a smile emote. “Your friend performs delightfully,” he continued after a pause, on seeing Bingley charge into the fray; “and I doubt not that you are an adept in the science yourself, Mr. Darcy.”
“You saw me raid at Naxx, I believe, sir.”
“Yes, indeed, and received no inconsiderable pleasure from the sight. Do you often raid at Ulduar?”
“Not any more, sir.”
“Do you not think it would be a proper compliment to the place?”
“It is a compliment which I never pay to any place if I can avoid it.”
“You have done all the hard modes, I conclude?”
Mr. Darcy said he had.
“I had once had some thought of doing hard modes myself—for I am fond of superior raids; but I did not feel quite certain that the focus required would agree with Lady Lucas.”
He paused in hopes of an answer; but his companion was not disposed to make any; and Elizabeth at that instant moving towards them, he was struck with the action of doing a very gallant thing, and called out to her over Vent:
“My dear Miss Eliza, why are you not attacking? Mr. Darcy, you must allow me to present this young lady to you as a very desirable partner. You cannot refuse to attack, I am sure when so much capable off-healing is before you.” And he would have sent her and Mr. Darcy who, though extremely surprised, was not unwilling to receive Elizabeth’s healing, when she instantly veered her mount away, and said with some discomposure to Sir William:
“Indeed, sir, I have not the least intention of attacking. I entreat you not to suppose that I moved this way in order to beg for a partner.”
Mr. Darcy, with grave propriety, requested to be allowed the honour of assaulting the lumber mill with her, but in vain. Elizabeth was determined; nor did Sir William at all shake her purpose by his attempt at persuasion.
“You excel so much in PvP, Miss Eliza, that it is cruel to deny me the happiness of seeing you; and though this gentleman dislikes the amusement in general, he can have no objection, I am sure, to oblige us for one half-hour.”
“Mr. Darcy is all politeness,” said Elizabeth, smiling.
“He is, indeed; but, considering the inducement, my dear Miss Eliza, we cannot wonder at his complaisance—for who would object to such a partner?”
Elizabeth laughed over Vent, and turned away. Her resistance had not injured her with the gentleman, and he was thinking of her with some complacency, when thus accosted by Caroline in tells:
“I can guess the subject of your reverie.”
“I should imagine not.”
“You are considering how insupportable it would be to pass many evenings in this manner—in such society; and indeed I am quite of your opinion. I was never more annoyed! The insipidity, and yet the noise—the nothingness, and yet the self-importance of all those people! What would I give to hear your strictures on them!”
“Your conjecture is totally wrong, I assure you. My mind was more agreeably engaged. I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which raiding with capable hybrids can bestow.”
Caroline immediately desired he would tell her what hybrid had the credit of inspiring such reflections. Mr. Darcy replied with great intrepidity:
“Miss Elizabeth.”
“Miss Elizabeth!” repeated Caroline. “I am all astonishment. How long has she been such a favourite?—and pray, when am I to wish you joy?”
“That is exactly the question which I expected you to ask. A dps’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to dependency, from dependency to core raiding spots, in a moment. I knew you would be wishing me joy.”
“Nay, if you are serious about it, I shall consider the matter is absolutely settled. You will be having a charming alliance, indeed; and, of course, she will always be at every raid with you.”
He listened to her with perfect indifference while she chose to entertain herself in this manner; and as his composure convinced her that all was safe, her wit flowed long.


Mary had neither genius nor much resilience; and though vanity had given her application, it had given her likewise a pedantic air and conceited manner, which would have injured a higher degree of excellence than she had reached.
xD I love this series so much. How on earth do you keep it up? I would have run out of steam by now.
I keep it up because so many people seem to get such enjoyment out of it – and it really is not difficult to change out a few words and phrases. I do worry that I won't be able to make the whole thing make any sort of coherent sense from chapter to chapter, but if each one is taken alone and on its own merits, I think it should be fine. :)