As part of my goal to get my last three characters to 80 before the expansion, I’ve been working a bit more lately on the baby huntard. I manned up to Winterspring and all those damned Yeti quests. I ended up in a few random groups in Dire Maul – where everyone is always laughably confused because who goes there any more? And since when are there like, different wings of it and stuff? Is this not the one with the library? /PANIC
Anyhow, I’ve contrived to get her to level 60 and, since I still haven’t bothered to respec her because I’m inherently lazy like that (go ahead and judge me, Yngwe. I can take it!), I decided to get a special pet. There wasn’t much thought for me to put into it. Most of the pets tamed by BM hunters tend to be core hounds or rare elites. Being only level 60, I didn’t have just a whole lot of options. So I decided to do the only thing that made sense and head out to bag myself a dinosaur.
I headed to Un’Goro Crater, At’s priest in tow, and started scouring the place for just the right dinosaur to love and pet and call my own. In the end, I settled on this guy:
If you look closely, you can see he’s snacking on Ony there. Okay, fine, it’s my Onyxia Whelpling. I was just trying to make him seem bigger than he actually is. And that’s the thing that gets me about taming such a cool pet – I get that it has to be smaller so as to fit into one’s magical pocket whenever it’s dismissed and to get into places such as instances and cities without demolishing all the architecture and possibly flattening the populace, but does it have to shrink to the small size that it does?
My next concern for the beast was what to call it? I didn’t want to do anything that’s been done a million times before, with some variation of Trex or TWrecks or Fluffykins. We have had, in our guild, a rather long and proud tradition of naming our pets after various and sundry guildies – on my first hunter I had a ravager named Noxy because all the the thing did was die and die and die some more. I’ve also, in the past, named pets after pets I’ve had in real life. I had a Moonstalker I named Luke, after my cat, who was named after Mr. Skywalker (but not by me – I’ve named other cats of mine Schnapps, Trillian and Donas). This baby hunter got a pig and named it SwineFlu because I’m childish and then there has been Spanked and Tristan.
But for such a majestic animal, I needed something different. Something that would help to illustrate how fuck off enormous his potential was, if not his actual size any more.
At length, inspiration hit like a lightening bolt from the sky. (Not really.) (I just enjoy hyperbole.) I had the perfect name for this sleek and deadly beast. Something that would call to the minds of any who recognized the reference that although his stature might be less now that he’s succumbed to my charms, he once was a fuck off enormous dinosaur. (Totally talking about the pet here. Really.)
And so I give you:
And if that dinosaur is a girl, I am sure both myself and its put-upon namesake don’t want to hear about it.