It’s easy to get caught up in the negatives. It’s easy to lose sight of the good when there are so many sources of stress that press in on a daily basis.
I have been caught up in the difficulty inherent in trying to lead a guild. These people are like cats! You can’t just say what’s on your mind because someone might get their feelings hurt! It’s impossible to log on and just play – everyone wants a piece of me! I’m too tired. It’s too hard. Waa! Waa! Waaa!
Sometimes something slaps you across the face in a way you weren’t expecting. It’s never pleasant but sometimes? Sometimes it’s much better than what might have been had you not received the wake-up call.
I got my wake-up call today. My wallowing hasn’t been pretty or productive and for that, I need to apologize to my guild-mates. Along with the apology, I want to dwell on some positives.
So in no particular order, here are some positives to help light my way.
Ataraxaven – You’re always the first of nearly any list of things that are good in my life. You provide calmness to balance my insanity. You also manage to rile me up when you fall asleep in the middle of a boss fight, but by the time we’re both heading to bed you’ve usually managed to somehow remind me that it’s probably not really worth actually getting angry over. This is astounding since, as you know, I have a lot of rage in my soul.
Asmod – You’re freaking hilarious when you’ve had a few drinks and get chatty in vent. You’ve also given me tons of sound advice, especially over the last few months. I don’t know why you would want to follow me anywhere, let alone actually support me in my tyrannical ways, but I am grateful to have you as a sounding board and as a friend. If you ever try to leave the capacity you now fill, well, I’ll have to cut you.
Jinxy and Noxy – I have to put you two together because even though I knew Noxy for quite some time before there was a Jinxy, I can’t imagine one of you without the other. I love and depend upon our chats at work – both about Azeroth and about the crappy work environment we all share. I’ve also been grateful to have people in town to get together with for the occasional night out – we all need those! A special thank you must go to Noxy for giving me so many terribad puns to groan at. You know I like to be cranky.
Holly – there’s a reason you have your very own tag on my blog. Holly the cheerful Canadian is just how I see you. I know few people so determinedly cheerful and upbeat – and certainly none that I think could match your optimism in the middle of a long night of wiping on the same new content over and over. You also never seem to mind all my terrible Canadian jokes and will just go right on saying “eh” after nearly every sentence. Oh, and that one time you gave my brother a piece of your mind? I still cherish that memory.
Hanse – You’re also patient with my Canadian jokes and are the perfect straight man to Holly’s exuberance. Whether I am calling you Handsy or A-hacks, you never get ruffled. Or maybe you do. Hard to say since you’re so silent ever since Holls took your mic away. I hope you get it back and that I someday get to visit you for a nice flapjack breakfast. Eh.
Crispy! You’re pretty much the only guy left from our glory days as nubs together. I will never forget some of the ridiculous situations you managed to heal us through – though I sometimes wish I could forget some of our more interesting times in SLabs. Of all the guildies At and I might have decided to stalk IRL, I’m glad it was you. Thanksgiving was awesome and I am still blown away and honored that you would be willing to open your home to us. You still keep me laughing today with your humble attitude (cough) and your professionalism with the ladies (cough cough). I also adore being able to tell the naysayers in my life that WoW can’t possibly be “evil.” We have a pastor in our guild!
Hisper – I can never decide if you’re still new to the guild or if you’ve been with us forever. That’s weird. You’ve done an admirable job (on many occasions) of leading raids and explaining things in a less sporadic manner than what I sometimes blurt out. Thanks for always being willing to fill any spot that needs filling when we’re madly cycling through the roster for weekly badgers.
Yngwe – well, you’re pretty. And you feed on tears. And even though you have only just become an officer, you have also been giving excellent advice on many things for some time. I could wish that your in-game time wasn’t so limited, but I appreciate how much time you’re on the forums trying to make any hunter in WWAB unworthy of being called “huntard.” There may be hope for me yet! Just probably not so long as I have Tamarind the nearly completely worthless around.
Elfindale and Kimber – I think you two ladies are some of the sweetest and most adorable people I know. (A little misguided, Kimber, for thinking it’s great when I pull out my fail tank and flail around at mobs. I suspect you’re really just enjoying the show.) Anyhow, I don’t know either of you as well as I would like, but I enjoy having both of you in raids for your readiness to learn and your perfect willingness to jump in and do your most awesome best on my sketchy instructions.
Azzah – the guy responsible for pretty much all WoW-related activity in my life. You got me into this game and then onto this server and then into this guild. NOW I’M THE BOSS OF YOU. Or I would be if you would play once in a while. I miss your totems. And I miss drunken explanations of boss fights from back in the day. “Okay guysh, thish ish Gruul. And he’sh basically just a hoof and we all need to spread out ‘cept the healersh who… Wait. What I am shaying? Your mana is out of healer!”
Zel and AT&T – You guys are super new to the guild, but I feel that you’re fitting in well and will be (toxic or not) assets on many fronts. I’m still honored you took a chance on us and hopefully the few speedbumps we’ve hit haven’t been too bad. You’re certainly helping to save us from a summer of no raiding, and for that I am grateful.
Dark, Mrs. Dark, Yuengling, Ertas, Shad – you guys are my “sometimes” guys. I “sometimes” get to talk with you, play with you, raid with you. We’ve had times of that happening quite a bit and times of not at all. Those not at all bits are probably all my fault. Please know I’m always happy to see you log on or accept a raid invite or just say hi as I log on to do whatever tasks I’ve set myself to do. I hope we get more chances to hang out in whatever capacity.
And for all those I have listed here, how many more am I missing or have not gotten to know as well as I would like? I’m guessing quite a few. And how many are missing from guild chat if not the corners of my heart? To those who are no longer with me: Kryll, Dargy, Xaney and Sinna (to name a couple) – I miss you all. Kryll was one of the best tanks I’ve ever had the privilege to run with. Dargy was the third paladin in our 3 paladin, 1 mage team, who was ret before ret was viable and who was also awesome to meet over that Thanksgiving. Xaney and Sinna, your in-game bickering was adorable and I dearly miss hearing Xaney needle Asmod and then laugh his rough laugh. Come back to me.
Anyone I missed, I am sorry. These are the burdens of having so many great people around to make WoW better than it could ever be on its own.
Love and smooches and oodles of strudel,