Summer is invariably a rough time for trying to hold a guild together. This time last year, I wasn’t able to hold myself together, let alone be any sort of good to my guild.
This time last year, I took a break from the game for nearly a month. This was on the heels of a nasty bout of drama that involved some of my family who play. That drama that resulted in me stepping down as an officer and the subsequent agreement to take on being a Raid Leader. As a Raid Leader, I did nothing but fight with the officers and the raiders. I stepped down from that, too, when I left the game.
This time last year was an awkward time for me. I didn’t know what to do with myself most nights and quickly ran out of things to read and my overall depression made it impossible for me to want to try to write anything. At gravitated towards spending time with me and so I never heard the end of how I was taking the pillars of leadership away from the guild and leaving them bereft of guidance. I didn’t need that particular brand of guilt trip, but I got it several times a week.
More drama ensued while I was out. A nasty split. All the raiders I had been fighting with before left. Some good friends were out the door as well. I came back to the game earlier than I had intended, to be one more body in any raids that happened and to try to keep At in the game where he was needed.
This time last year, we talked seriously about giving up on the whole guild leadership thing. I wasn’t sure that a game, no matter how much I cared for the people in it, was worth the heartache and that sour feeling in my gut as we watched relationships get destroyed and thrown aside as though they never had any worth at all to either side.
I don’t remember getting through the last bit of July or really any of August. I do remember getting people back in September and more trickled in as we kept on. Somewhere in there I became an officer again, mostly because I was incapable of keeping my nose out of it. For all the difficulty that comes with the job, I needed to have a voice and a say in the direction of the guild.
We drifted for several months. We rebuilt our core and banded even more tightly together.
I started writing. I became co-GM and then GM. Since then, I’ve been able to shape things more or less how I want them.
This summer has been somewhat bad, but not as awful as last year or the year before that. It’s not my doing, but remaining small has also kept drama small.
This time a year ago, I was miserable beyond words. Today, I am content and have so much to look forward to. I’m so glad we hung in there.