See the flames begin to crawl

December 2 has been a banner day for me for the last dozen or so years.

On December 2, 1998, I met At online. Didn’t know when I went looking for that argument in a chat room to blow off some teenage steam that I would find the love of my life.

We celebrated December 2 as an anniversary of sorts for every year to come. Happy anniversary, you. I’m so glad I met you.

A few years ago, also on December 2, I became an aunt for the first time. That’s when the little Terrorfiend was born. So convenient of her to come on a day I could be sure to remember.

Before she ever came along though, also on December 2, 2006, I started my free 10-day trial of a little game called World of Warcraft. According to my account history, I bought the game 10 days later. And I’ve never unsubscribed.

Until now.

When I wrote that last post, I hadn’t been planning to take the steps that I did. But I had a very long talk with At and it ended in my unsubscribing from WoW and informing the Effers that I would need a replacement GM within the month.

In a lot of ways, this is something of a non-announcement. I was on the 6-month plan and a week ago is when I re-upped. So while I might be unsubbed, I also have play time until April. And it’s not as though I couldn’t re-sub any time.

The biggest change is the stepping down as GM. When I saw that start date in my game history of December 2, and started counting, I realized that of my five years of gaming, four and a half of those years have been spent in guild leadership. And when you consider that At’s tenure of GM might as well have my tenure as GM – only frustrated because I couldn’t enact all my ideas and plans – well, that’s a long time to carry the burden.

I’m concerned that so far no one has indicated any interest in taking on the role of GM for the Effers. I’d hate to think that people are going to just scatter. I feel some pretty terrible guilt because I suppose it’s somewhere in my nature that I want to make sure people are having a good time and I feel as though I am letting everyone down.

But like my decision to leave my last guild, this was a decision that wasn’t made in the heart of drama or in a fit of despair. It was made rationally, soberly and sadly. It was also made blaming Zel. She’s leaving me, guys. And I can’t do it without support.

I don’t know what my future is for WoW in particular and for gaming in general. Fortunately, I now have some time to figure it all out without the tethering restraints of leadership binding me to a game I just don’t love as much these days as I used to.

Oh, and this blog? I’ll still be around a while longer. This isn’t the last goodbye.

Unintended hiatus

So, uh, I guess it’s been a week since I last posted anything and then I didn’t even have the courtesy to let that something be mine.

I have noticed a distinct lack of WoW in my life lately, and no, it’s not because I’ve secretly been in a Star Wars beta this whole time. I just haven’t bothered logging into the game and so haven’t had much to say.

But I have been doing a lot of thinking about WoW lately, and ended up telling my guild yesterday that it’s fairly likely that I’ll be making some big changes within the next several months. Not playing any more is one possibility. Having been out of the game for a week and not even really realizing it or missing it is one indicator that I’m bored with it.

A lot of my guild is in a similar boat, from what I can gather. Raid sign ups have dropped (though the prospect of doing something that isn’t bloody Firelands seems to have rekindled some interest all around) and I know of several people that are going to unsub to WoW as soon as swtor launches. Thinking about losing raiders made me realize that if I do keep playing, I’m just not up for rebuilding a raiding team. If EtI loses enough people to not be able to raid, then I might take Alas to be a peon somewhere else… but then again, I might not.

I don’t think it’s burnout. I think it’s boredom. I think it’s the prospect of losing people I liked playing with. I think it’s exhaustion after several years of leading.

So I don’t really have anything to say here. Except to announce that I may not have much to say here in the future. I’m not sure what to do about this space if I do end up quitting WoW. But that’s a problem for if and when that happens.

I think I’d at least like to finish P&P + WoW. But if I am quiet around here aside from that, this is why. I’m just not finding the magic in WoW anymore and even the prospect of new dungeons and a new raid isn’t getting me any more excited.

-Alas the Apathetic

More QQ from Achilles

Blah blah blah. Zel. Blah blah. Enjoy!

WoW Iliad – Book 1, part 6

Then Achilles went all alone by the side of the Great Sea, /weeping and scrolling his camera out to look upon the boundless waste of waters. He /raised his hands in prayer to his GM mother, “Mother,” he whined, “you bore me doomed to raid but for a few expansions; surely GM-Zeus, who thunders from Blizzard HQ, might have made that little glorious. It is not so. Agamemnon, has done me dishonor, and has robbed me of my prize by force.”

As he spoke he /wept aloud, and his GM mother heard him where she was sitting in a Blizzard satellite office. Forthwith she made her toon rise as it were a grey mist out of the waves, sat down before him as he stood /weeping and sent him a tell: “My son, why are you weeping? What is it that grieves you? Keep it not from me, but tell me, that we may know it together.”

Achilles drew a deep /sigh and said, “You know it; why tell you what you know well already? We raided the Echo Isles, pwned it, and brought hither the spoil, including some hot chick faction transfers (they are totally girls IRL). The shared the spoils duly among themselves, and chose lovely Chryseis as the e-girlfriend of Agamemnon; but Chryses, groupie of GM-Apollo, came to us to free his guildie, and brought with him phat lewt: moreover he bore in his hand a fishing pole, and he besought the Alliance, but most of all the two Guild Leaders who were their chiefs.

“On this the rest of the Alliance with one voice were for respecting the groupie and taking the phat lewt that he offered; but not so Agamemnon, who spoke fiercely to him and told him to GTFO. So he went back in anger, and GM-Apollo, who loved him dearly, answered his ticket. Then the GM sent deadly hax upon our faction, and the players were one-shot, for the blasts went everywhither among the Alliance at Ratchet. At last a Guild Leader in the fullness of his spoiler knowledge declared to us the requirements of GM-Apollo, and I was myself first to say that we should appease him. Whereon Agamemnon rose in anger, and threatened that which he has since done. Some guildies are now taking the girl, riding the boat to Chryse, and sending bribes to the GM; but the heralds have just taken from my guild Briseis, whom the Alliance had awarded to myself.

“Help your brave son, therefore, if you are able without getting fired for nepotism. Go to Blizzard HQ, and if you have ever done him a favor or covered his shift, implore the aid of your boss GM-Zeus. Ofttimes I heard you glory in that you alone of the GMs saved GM-Zeus from being fired, when the others, with GM-Hera, GM-Poseidon, and GM-Athena would have gotten him sacked. It was you who delivered him by calling to Blizzard HQ the hundred-handed programmer from the Blizzard satellite office; when therefore he took his seat all-glorious beside GM-Zeus, the other GMs were afraid, and did not terminate him. Go, then, to him, remind him of all this and bid him give buffs to the Hordies. Let the Alliance be hemmed in at the sterns of the NPC ships, and perish on the sea-shore of Ratchet, that they may reap what joy they may of their moron Guild Leader, and that Agamemnon may rue his derpiness in offering insult to the top DPSer on the server.”

GM-Thetis wept and answered, “My son, woe is me that I let you subscribe. Would indeed that you had spent your subscription free from all sorrow in Ironforge, for your game card time is all too brief; alas, that you should be at once short of game time and long of sorrow above your peers: woe, therefore, was the hour in which I let you subscribe; nevertheless I will go to Blizzard HQ, and tell this tale to GM-Zeus, if he will hear our request: meanwhile stay where you are, nurse your grudge against the rest of the Alliance, and don’t sign up for any more PvP city raids. For GM-Zeus went yesterday to a training seminar and the other GMs went with him. He will return to Blizzard HQ twelve days hence; I will then go to his office and will beseech him; nor do I doubt that I shall be able to persuade him.”

On this she left him, still furious at the loss of her that had been taken from him.

Drama, drama, drama

Another short section of Zel’s epic WoW Iliad. Enjoy!

WoW Iliad – Book 1, part 5

But Agamemnon did not forget the threat that he had made Achilles, and called his trusty messengers and squires Talthybius and Eurybates. “Go,” said he, “to Achilles; invite Briseis to a group and bring her hither; if he will not /gkick her I shall come with others and take her–which will piss him off even more.”

He charged them straightly further and dismissed them, whereon they tracked humanoids till they came to Achilles’ guild, the <Myrmidons>. They found Achilles ill-pleased he was when he beheld them. They stood fearfully and reverently before him, and never a word did they type,
but he knew them and said, “Welcome, heralds; draw near; my quarrel is not with you but with Agamemnon who has sent you for the girl Briseis. Therefore, Patroclus, /gkick her and send her a tell to join their party, but let them be witnesses by the blessed GMs, by mortal players, and by the fierceness of Agamemnon’s nerdrage, that if ever again there be need of me to save the Alliance from wipes or pwnage, they shall seek and they shall not find. Agamemnon is mad with nerdrage and isn’t thinking about the future raiding success of the Alliance on this server.”

Patroclus did as his Guild Leader had bidden him. He sent Briseis a tell, kicked her from the guild, and gave her over to the heralds, who took her with them to Agamemnon–and the Hordie girl (IRL, totally) was loth to go.

Mostly because I can

Zel will probably kill me for not posting part five of the WoW Iliad today, but as she’ll have to wait several weeks for an actual opportunity to do so (and may, in fact, forget between now and then that she ever wanted to), I’m going to risk it and bore you all to death with blah blah about me.

First of all, I’m blogging from work. It’s even been sanctioned that I do so. Well, not blogging per se. But if I have free time (and, oh, how I have the free time) I’m welcome to do whatever I want. Read a book. Play games. Write. I had to bring in my own laptop to do this and that is the only real drawback, as the laptop is five or six years old and it shows.

Yesterday, I played Civ IV for a few hours in the afternoon. I must get a new laptop ASAP so that I might play other games. Or not. As I might actually do more writing when I’m not able to do much else with the machine I’ve got.

I have never had a job before where, if you weren’t busy, you damn well better look busy. Well, not since my glorious two and a half years in Presort, which was so long ago it seems like more of a dream than anything.

And the funny thing is? I didn’t even actually apply for this job. I had applied for other jobs within the company and at some point must have checked a “Yes, please consider me for anything I am qualified to do” box. Because when I got the call from the recruiter, the only reason I had the smallest notion of what she was talking about was because I had received an email thanking me for applying.

What sort of dork gets a job she didn’t even look for? My sort of dork, I guess.

I probably wouldn’t have applied for this one, either, had I come across it on my own. Hospitality? Making coffee? I have different aspirations than that.

And I still do. But this is a foot in the door with a company that works very closely with the field I am actually interested in. They are good about promoting leaders. And while I am here, my co-worker is very nice, my boss is flexible and when I’m not using my downtime for my own nefarious purposes, I’m getting an excellent workout by hustling things up and down five flights of stairs.

For me, being content and having the sorts of intangible perks that I have already found here, is so much more important than any title or amount of money you could give me in exchange for being miserable. I’ve done misery for the better part of the last eight years. I didn’t like it.

Anyhow, no real point to this except to say that so far, I am happy with the new job. Life without Kooky is awesome. 9-5:30 is weird. And, maybe someday, I’ll get home and have the energy to log into WoW so my guild won’t forget who I am.

I think I HAD Achilles in my guild at one point

Here is part four of Zel’s Epic Guest Post! If you aren’t laughing, I don’t know wtf is wrong with you. 

WoW Iliad – Book 1, part 4

But Achilles again began sniping at Agamemnon, for he was still in a rage. “Carebear,” he cried, “with the face of a gorloc and the heart of a murloc, you never dare to attend progression nights. You shun this as you do death itself. You had rather go round and rob the lewt from any player who contradicts you. You devour your fellow Guild Leaders, for you are leader over a feeble player base; otherwise, Agamemnon, henceforward you would insult no player. Therefore I say, and swear it with a great oath–nay, by this legendary orange weapon–so surely and solemnly do I swear that hereafter on PvP raids they shall look fondly for Achilles and shall not find him. In the day of your distress, when your guildies keep wiping to the murderous hand of Hector, you shall not know how to help them, and shall rend your heart with rage for the hour when you offered insult to the best DPS on this server.”

With this Achilles equipped his legendary weapon and /sat, while Agamemnon was furiously beginning a reply in all caps. Then up rose smooth-tongued Guild Leader Nestor, and the words were sweeter than honey. Two expansions had happened under his watch, and he was now reigning over the third. With all sincerity and goodwill, therefore, he addressed them thus:–

“Of a truth,” he said, “a great sorrow has befallen this server. Surely Priam’s guild and the Hordies would be glad at heart if they could hear this quarrel between you two, who are so excellent in fight and counsel. I am older than either of you IRL; therefore be guided by me and get off my lawn. Moreover I have been the BFF of guild leaders even greater than you are, and they did not disregard my counsels. Never again can I behold such guild leaders as Pwnage, Meetgrinder, and Mrbater, peers of the GMs. These were the mightiest guild leaders ever in Azeroth: mightiest were they, and when they raided the fiercest pre-made teams they utterly pwned them. I came from a crappy underpopulated server, and went about among them, for they would have me come, and I raided as it was in me to do. No current player would have been able to pwn them, but they heard my words, and were persuaded by them. So be it also with yourselves, for this is the more excellent way. Therefore, Agamemnon, though you be strong, take not this Hordie chick away, for the server has already given her to Achilles; and you, Achilles, strive not further with Agamemnon, for no man who by the grace of GM-Zeus wields a legendary has like honor with Agamemnon. You are strong, and have a GM for your mother; but Agamemnon is stronger than you, for he has more guildies under him. Agamemnon, check your anger, I implore you; end this quarrel with Achilles, who in the day of battle is a tower of strength to this PvP effort.”

And Agamemnon answered, “Sir, all that you have said is true, but this fellow wants to be a control freak over this server, and this shall hardly be. Granted that he is a leet DPSer, does he also have the right to speak with snarkiness?”

Achilles interrupted him. “I should be an epic fail coward,” he typed, “were I to give in to you in all the things. Order other Guild Leaders about, not me, for I shall obey no longer. Furthermore I say–and lay my saying to your heart–I shall fight neither you nor any player about this e-girlfriend, for those that take were those also that gave. But of all my other phat lewts, you shall carry away nothing by force. Try, that others may see; if you do, I will duel the crap out of you.”

When they had quarrelled thus angrily, they rose, and broke up the assembly at the meeting stone. Achilles went back to gchat with the <Myrmidons> while Agamemnon chose a raid of twenty to take the boat. He escorted Chryseis on board and sent moreover a bribe for the GM. And Odysseus went as raid leader.

These, then, went on board and sailed their ways over the sea. But Achilles bade the guildies purify themselves; so they sold their grays at a vendor. Then they offered fish feasts on the sea-shore, and the smoke of the basic campfire curling up towards the sky.  Thus did they busy themselves.

The epic saga continues

Parts 1&2 of this can be found here and here. Thanks again to Zelmaru of Murloc Parliament for putting so much effort and time into this fabulous rewrite of:

The WoW Iliad, book 1, part three

Achilles nerdraged, and his heart was divided whether to /duel Agamemnon, or to restrain himself and check his anger. While he was thus in two minds, and was typing out /duel, GM-Athena sent him a tell (for GM-Hera had sent her in the love she bore to them both). “Why are you here,” said he, “subordinate of GM-Zeus? To see the pride of Agamemnon? Let me tell you–and it shall surely be–he shall pay for this asshattery by losing a duel in an embarrassing manner.”

And GM-Athena said, “I come from Blizzard HQ, if you will hear me, to bid you stay your nerdrage. GM-Hera has sent me, who cares for both of you alike. Cease, then, this brawling, and do not /duel; snark at him if you will, and your snarking will not be vain, for I tell you–and it shall surely be–that you shall hereafter receive phat lewt three times as splendid by reason of this present insult. Hold, therefore, and obey.”

“GM,” answered Achilles, “however angry a man may be, he must do as you two command him. This will be best, for the GMs ever answer the ticket of him who has obeyed them.”

He stayed his hand on the enter button, and deleted his slash command as GM-Athena bade him. Then she went back to Blizzard HQ among the other GMs, and the domain of supervisor GM-Zeus.

Search Terms: P&P edition

I love search terms. Especially all the ones I get about how to kiss your ‘husbend’ hardcore in order to show your appreciation. And all the ones that relate directly to blog drama. For. Shame.

But those are for another day. Today I want to help all the people who apparently struggle to understand just what the heck is going on in Pride and Prejudice by answering some queries that sent some poor, unwitting souls my way.

Most of these quotes come with a “meaning” or “analysis” modifier attached.

Search Terms – Help is here

Mr. Wickham states that “man should not be estimated beyond their deserts” First of all, Mr. Wickham is sort of a snake, so take anything he says with a grain of salt. Secondly, always estimate people by their WoL performance. Duh.

The possibility of Mr Collins’s fancying himself in love with her friend had once occurred to Elizabeh Mkay, well. First, it’s Elizabeth. How this one brought people to me several times, I don’t even know. On so many levels. But this is pretty bloody obvious to anyone with a scrap of reading comprehension. Elizabeth, or Elizabeh if you prefer, at one point thought: “You know, I bet that stupid Mr. Collins – a man who wouldn’t know what love was if it tripped him in the lane and then proceeded to beat the snot out of him for a few hours – thinks he is in love with my good friend, Charlotte.” Then she rolled her eyes and said, “What a noob.” Trufax.

She likes to have the distinction of rank preserved. As you ought to be aware, Lady Catherine is a GM. She wants everyone to know that and to not have any undue confusion about her standing in the guild. She also wants the lowly non-leadership members of the guild to sit down, shut up and recognize that a GM is someone to be worshiped, reverently and from a distance. Also, she should have all the best gear. To preserve the distinction of rank. Some random raider should not have a higher iLvl/GearScore than the illustrious leader of a guild. I mean, really.

Caroline is a whore I heard a rumor that she dances naked on mailboxes to earn enough gold to repair her gear, ever since Charlie cut her off from guild bank access. He had to cut her off because she was taking all the BoE epics and selling them to fund her depraved lifestyle of attempting to pick up Tauren in bars in Orgrimmar.

I do not reckon the notice and kindness of Lady Catherine de Bourgh as among the least of the advantages in my power to offer. Once again, Mr. Collins = le stupid. Lady de Bourgh = le snob. Collins thinks that Lady Cat’s outright interference and bossiness in all the areas of his life is a major plus to bring to the table when trying to convince a woman to marry him. To me it sounds like a bit like a mother in law from hell, magnified by the factor of a million and living right across the lane. Like, amg, that’s so awesome. Awesome like that one time I accidentally fell off Outland.

The world is blinded by his fortune and consequence, or frightened by his high and imposing manners, and sees him only as he chooses to be seen. Darcy has an insanely good GearScore and the WoL data to back up anything he might wish to brag about and he totally goes around bragging all the time. So everyone just does whatever he wants because he’s such a leet raider. At least, that’s the sort of QQ the jealous and petty Mr. Wickham would have you believe.

For nine whole days, GM-Apollo pewpewed the Alliance

The first part of this was published yesterday. Click the arrow to read it first if you missed it. Thanks again to Zel from Murloc Parliament!

WoW Iliad Book 1, part two

For nine whole days, GM-Apollo pewpewed the Alliance, but upon the tenth day Achilles called them in a server meeting–moved thereto by GM-Hera, who saw the Alliance about to server transfer and had compassion upon them. Then, when they were got together, he spoke among them.

“Guild Leader Agamemnon,” said he, “I deem that we should find out WTF is going on if we would escape destruction, for we are being cut down by players in PvP and by a GM’s overpowered hax at once. Let us ask some former game dev, or some fanboi who can tell us why GM-Apollo is so pissed at us, and say whether it is for some rule in the terms of service that we have broken, or compliments that we have not offered, and whether he will accept a bribe, so as to take away the plague from us.”

With these words he /sat down, and Calchas, wisest of Guild Leaders, who knew things past and present and spoilers to come, /rose to speak. He it was who had guided the Alliance with their fleet from the Eastern Kingdoms to Kalimdor, through the PM’s with which GM-Apollo had inspired him. With all sincerity and goodwill he addressed them thus:–

“Achilles, Guild Leader of the <Myrmidons>, loved of Lady RNG, you bid me tell you about the anger of GM-Apollo, I will therefore do so; but consider first and swear that you will stand by me heartily in word and deed, for I know that I shall make a top guild leader butt-hurt. A casual player cannot stand against the nerdrage of a leet guild leader, who if he swallow his displeasure now, will yet nurse revenge till he has wreaked it. Consider, therefore, whether or no you will protect me from his guild whisper-spamming me.”

And Achilles answered, “Fear not, but speak as it is borne in upon you from guild master experience, for by GM-Apollo, Calchas, to whom you brownnose, and whose PM’s you reveal to us, not a guild will launch a harassment campaign on you, while my toon yet lives to look upon the face of Azeroth — not though you name Guild Leader Agamemnon himself, who is by far the foremost of the Alliance.”

Thereon the seer spoke boldly. “The GM,” he said, “is angry neither about the breaking of rules nor does he desire brownnosing, but he is right pissed for his groupie’s sake, whom Guild Leader Agamemnon has dishonored, in that he would not allow his guildie to faction transfer back, even when presented with phat lewt; therefore has he sent these evils upon us, and will yet send others. He will not deliver our server from this pestilence till Agamemnon has restored the Hordie chick to her faction and guild without accepting phat lewts or gold, and has sent a cute minipet to Chryse. Thus we may perhaps appease him.”

With these words he stopped typing, and Agamemnon /rose in anger. His heart was black with rage, and he did a /scowl emote on Calchas and said, “Seer of evil, you never yet prophesied good spoilers concerning me, but have ever loved to foretell that which was game-breaking. You have brought me neither comfort nor screenshots as proof; and now you come spamming in Local Defense, and saying that GM-Apollo has plagued us because I would not take a payment of gold or phat lewts for this Hordie chick, the guildie of Chryses. I have set my heart on keeping her in my own guild, for I love her better even than my own wife IRL Clytemnestra, whose peer she is alike in form and feature (according to pix, anyway), in understanding and accomplishments. Still I will let her faction transfer back, if I must, for I would have the server ratios survive, not die; but you must find me another transferred Hordie chick to fill her spot, or I alone among the Guild Leaders on this server shall be without an e-girlfriend.  This is not well; for you behold, all of you, that my e-girlfriend is to go elsewhither.”

And Achilles answered, “Most noble Agamemnon, covetous beyond all hardmode guild leaders, how shall the server find you another e-girlfriend? We have no common store from which to take one. Those we poached from the Horde are taken; we cannot disallow the awards that have been made already. Give this Hordie chick, therefore, to the GM, and if ever GM-Zeus grants us to sack the city of Ogrimmar, we will requite you three and fourfold.”

Then Agamemnon said, “Achilles, valiant though you be, you shall not thus outwit me. You shall not overreach and you shall not persuade me. Are you to keep your own e-girlfriend, while I sit tamely under my loss and give up the Hordie chick at your bidding? Let the guild find me a prize in fair exchange to my liking, or I will come and take your e-girlfriend, or that of Ajax or of Ulysses; and he to whomsoever I may come shall rue my coming. But of this we will take thought hereafter; for the present, let us make a raid, give the GM a bribe, and send Chryseis back to her faction and guild; further, let some leet player among us be in command of the raid, either Ajax, or Idomeneus, or yourself, leet DPS that you are, that we may offer bribes and brownnosing and appease the anger of the GM.”

Achilles /scowled at him and typed, “You are steeped in insolence and lust of gain. With what heart can any of the guildies do your bidding, either on PvP arena teams or in open raiding? I came PvPing here for any ill the Horde had done me. I have no quarrel with them. They have not raided my bank, nor made themselves a nuisance in Dun Morogh; for between me and them there is a great space, both mountain and sounding sea. We have followed you, Sir Epeen! for your pleasure, not ours–to gain satisfaction from the Horde for your shameless self and for Menelaus, leader of your sister guild. You forget this, and threaten to rob me of the e-girlfriend for whom I have grinded rep and xp, and which the other Guild Leaders have given me. Never when the guild raids a Horde city do I receive as good lewt as you do, though my DPS is the highest. When the sharing comes, your share is far the largest, and I, forsooth, must take what I can get and be thankful, when my pwning is done. Now, therefore, I shall take a WoW-cation; it will be much better for me to do dailies or grind achievements, for I will not stay here dishonored to gather gold and lewt for you.”

And Agamemnon answered, “Fine, ragequit then, I won’t beg you to stay in-game. I have others here who will do me honor, and above all GM-Zeus, the lord of counsel. There is no guild leader here so hateful to me as you are, for you are ever quarrelsome and ill-affected. Was it not RNG that made you so? Go take a break, then, with your <Myrmidons> guild to lord it over us on the forums. I care neither for you nor for your nerdrage; and thus will I do: since GM-Apollo is taking Chryseis from me, I shall send her back to her faction and guild.  But I shall take your own e-girlfriend Briseis, that you may learn that my epeen is bigger than yours, and that another may fear to set himself up as equal or comparable with me.”