And now for something completely different

As I’ve mentioned one or two million times before, I work in a law firm. It’s somewhat different than all my previous work environments, which have ranged from a warehouse/production environment to a lot of years in Higher Education.

One thing all my jobs have had in common though, is that people will buy some ugly ass “art” and hang it on the walls and call it good. The firm is no exception, although they apparently went the route of actually having all their shitty art insured and have it inspected once a year. They’re also about to spend an obscene amount of money on having interior designers come in and choose new paint colors for the walls (undoubtedly another exciting shade of beige or ecru) and move the art around.

But I digress.

I’ve been talking for a few months now about how the world needs a blog similar to cakewrecks, but for office art1. We could call it uglyofficeart.com and accept submissions from offices around the globe that have ugly art in them. Which I am starting to think is all of them.

At says I should quit talking about it and actually try it.

So here I am, taking a stab at a piece that hangs near to my cubical, and seems more like a poster than real art, but is somewhat rich with possibilities for mockery. I call it Downtown Types, because those are the words printed on the piece so that we’re not confused into thinking it’s Businessmen Next to Cactus or Two Dudes Standing Around Waiting for a Bus and Sharing a Paper.

(And I apologize in advance for the shitty quality of my phone photo. It was hard to get the picture without getting my own reflection in there and a bunch of people were walking by and giving me very funny looks2.)

Downtown Types

 

I want to start by saying that I don’t understand why anyone would pay actual money for this… this… “art.” Even taking into account that art appreciation is fairly subjective, I can’t begin to figure out who took a look at this and thought, “You know, this looks like something a 12 year old might create in art class, what with the wobbly knees and severely inclined angles at which those two douches in suits are standing. I should buy it and insure it and hang it up on the wall at work!”

And then there’s the question of what the artist was trying to say here. “Downtown types are faceless money-grubbers in rumpled suits that all look the same and who don’t actually contribute anything more to society than standing around and catching up on the news or the stock market. I will demonstrate their soullessness by having them be indistinguishable, crooked and standing on either side of a vaguely phallic cactus! Brilliant!”

Lastly, I think this is a pretty narrow slice of what might constitute “Downtown Types.” I work downtown myself, and in addition to all the people in various degrees of business wear, I also see the homeless, people dressed to casually stroll the city streets, people working out, people half dressed, that one guy in a kilt who was playing the bagpipes, a variety of hippies and a bunch of people in various uniforms, such as cops or city workers.

You know, maybe that whole Downtown Types thing is a typo. Because I could totally see this being a better and more accurate representation of Downton Types.

Downton Type, Reading the Paper, sans Phallic Cactus

 

What do you guys think? About the art or the feeble attempts at wit, here. I am possibly not the person for the job of lambasting ugly office art, but man, I do see a lot of it every day. Like the painting of a dead joker that hangs outside the president of the firm’s office. I am not sure what that says about him, but I can think of a few things I’d be willing to say about it.

  1. A very cursory Google F Search does not seem to pull up anything more than this post
  2. And not that I care a whole lot, but they already think I’m deranged for all the lurking I do outside of closed conference room doors, trying to determine if the room is actually empty before I go barging in.
Posted in Acts of Lameness, Real Life, Senseless Blah Blah | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments

Hitting a snag

Project QuATT is giving me problems. Outland is a major pain in my ass just at the moment.

Getting Hellfire squared away is easy enough, and I had no issues there. Ditto for Zangarmarsh. Terokkar was a bit more of a struggle, because you have to go into Nagrand and start a chain of quests there that will eventually take you back to Terokkar and allow you to wrap things up there.

I thought I was over the hard bits until I would hit Blade’s Edge, which I do recall being a major pain in the ass, way back when I did it on Alas. Turns out that Nagrand is being even more trouble than I had anticipated it would be.

While all the Nesingwary quests have been revamped so that none of it requires a group and while even Durn the Hungerer has turned into a giant pushover, the Ring of Blood quests still require a group. I soloed the first dude on my own. I am level 71 after all, and a hunter. But the twins? Not happening.

In vain, I searched Wowhead for other quests that would count towards the achievement. There was one that took me back to Terokkar and I thought it seemed promising…. right up until they wanted to send me into Auchindoun. Riiiight. I’m totally go to be able to solo a dungeon.

In fact, the only promising lead I have to finish up Nagrand for now is to head over to SMV and pick up a quest chain that will eventually lead me back to Nagrand to kill some demons and things. Jolly.

Faced with this set of circumstances, I think I am going to simply go ahead and leave Nagrand for now and head to the next zone: Blade’s Edge. When I get to SMV and get sent back to Nagrand, I’ll see if that will be enough to finish out the achievement for me. If not, I will at least possibly be a level or two higher and should have acquired some better gear along the way. Failing all of that, I will start begging Drenden residents that I know for help.

In conclusion, Outland Loremaster is the worst. The very worst. I am so looking forward to getting my undead ass up to Northrend.

Posted in Leveling | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

A peppy message of hate

So, At and I have been marathoning Grey’s Anatomy lately. I blame my sister for getting me into it. While we watch, At farms ore and I’ve been spending time getting back to work on my massive cross stitch project of DOOOOOM. For that reason, and the fact that many of my favorite artists get a lot of play time  on the soundtrack, I’ve been listening pretty closely more than actually watching.

As a result of all this close listening, I found a new favorite song. There’s just something about peppy messages of hate that make me giggle uncontrollably.

So I wrote a WoW-themed parody. Feel free to add your own verses if you have some anger in your soul that needs to be released.

I Hate Everyone (in the World of Warcraft)1

Some stupid druid came swooping down
And ninjaed the herb for which I’d been fighting
And when I complained and started to cry
He yelled LOL as he took to the skies
All I wanted was to make some healing pots
But I couldn’t take it anymore so I logged

I hate everyone (4x)

All the hunters on the street, I hate you all
And the druids that I meet, I hate you all
And the shamans that I know, I hate you all
And the undead that I don’t, I hate you all
Oh, I hate you all

Some fucking griefer just came to town
And killed the quest givers who were standing around
As I attempted to finish a quest
He proceeded to firebomb all the rest
I targeted him before casting slash spit
When just trying to quest, I don’t need this shit

I hate everyone (4x)

All the warlocks on the street, I hate you all
And the mages that I meet, I hate you all
And the boomkins that I know, I hate you all
And the blood elves that I don’t, I hate you all
Oh, I hate you all

I bet you think I’m kidding
But I promise you it’s true
I hate most everybody
But most of all I hate
Oh, I hate you

All the raiders on the street, I hate you all
And the casuals that I meet, I hate you all
And the night elves that I know, I hate you all
And the pandas that I don’t, I hate you all
And the people in EK, I hate you all
And the goblins I hate least, I hate you all
And the people in Northrend, I hate you all
And the hordies I like best, I hate you all
Oh, I hate you all

  1. Not really. This is a joke people. If you don’t get that, I don’t get you.
Posted in Acts of Lameness, Senseless Blah Blah | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Update: Quest All the Things

Ages ago, I set myself a task to earn Loremaster as I leveled a character. I’ve been curious about how the exercise would work out in terms of finishing content at which levels. In fact, I have been so curious about it that I determined to do it twice, with some differences to each character that is a part of what I’ve been calling Project QuATT.

Over the weekend, I hit the first big milestone on my undead hunter, Lythium. She is where the idea was started, although it wasn’t my intent when I rolled her up. If anything, I was only wanting to see Silverpine and Hillsbrad since I had heard so many good things about their Cataclysm revamps.

Somewhere along the way, I decided to get Loremaster as I went and a few levels into that, I was wondering what level I would be by the time I finished Silithus and the Blasted Lands.

Well, now I know.

This project has certainly grown and evolved along the way, so all my information is not as strictly accurate as I would like it to be. For instance, I was in my low 30′s by the time I began to track anything. Somewhere in Hillsbrad at the time, I backtracked and completed even those quests in the starting areas that don’t count towards Loremaster, wrapped up Ashenvale at level 33 with 55% of the XP bar filled and then completed Hillsbrad before going through the rest of all the Vanilla zones.

My humble tracking spreadsheet

 

To explain the above picture, the first set of parentheses in each zone is the level I was when I had the achievement pop up. The second set indicates the level I was at when I actually finished all the quests available to me in that zone.

On Lythium, I have purposefully kept her from getting much extra help in the XP gain department, other than the occasional bit of rested. This has been mostly a matter of being on a server where I don’t have any heirlooms, but I have also kept her out of guilds, since some guild perks contribute more XP. Aside from regular questing out in the world, she’s done a handful of cooking dailies and gathers herbs to support her scribing habit.

As I’ve gone along, I’ve tracked all manner of things, including time played from level to level and the amount of gold she has, as well as where her professions are sitting. I don’t think most of that would be of any interest to anyone else1 (it scarcely interests me), so I’m not including it here. But I will share it if anyone out there is a bigger dork than I am and really wants to know.

For the sake of comparison (and because it’s oddly soothing to do this project for reasons I can’t explain), I have started an Alliance hunter on my new home server of Moonrunner. Esyllt 2.0 is much further behind in terms of progression through zones, but she has all the advantages of heirlooms and guild perks as she goes. In fact, the only thing she doesn’t have is a gathering profession that will net her extra XP (she’s skinning/LW).

Got started tracking much sooner here

 

Still, at the completion of one zone less than what Lythium had in the 1-20 range, the XP gains have remained remarkably close. I suspect the gap will grow in Esyllt’s favor as she gets into zones that are shared more evenly between the two factions.

In case all of this isn’t insane enough, I’m slightly tempted to really try to max XP gains out on a third character, by starting them in Gilneas and rolling them through the starting zones everyone has access to. I’d also give this potential third character both mining and herbalism, not to mention the full heirlooms and guild perks.

Like I said, I find this project soothing. It’s possible that no one else can understand that, but hey. I have two people in my family who claim that mowing the lawn soothes them and I can’t begin to fathom that, so to each their own!

And in case you’ve ever wondered what level you might be at if you did every (non-dungeon) quest available to you as you leveled, now you have a rough idea! I’ll update again as I get through more expansions on Lythium and more zones on Esyllt.

Having written all this out, I cann’t help but think… You know, I really should have made an effort at some point to get the ‘Insane’ title. Obviously, I sort of am.

  1. Also, stuff like the /played isn’t accurate since I’ve done a fair bit of this at work and often left her idling somewhere while I went to make coffee or somesuch
Posted in Leveling | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Lagging out

Hey guys.

Have I complained yet about my recent job development? Have I even mentioned the job development? It… would not appear so, unless I have bitched briefly and idly on The Twittahs.

Well, I’m not surprised.1 I have been damn near catatonic ever since I (foolishly) told my boss that I wanted my coworker’s job and hours. He went part time, so it’s not like I just demanded these things out of the blue.

Damn. My whole narrative is shot.

Oh well. It’s all part of my imaginary charm.

The point is, I am now working a shift that starts at 7:30. After not starting work until 9:00 for over a year, I was not prepared for the violent upheaval the change would have on my life. And I was not prepared for how utterly demanding my job would become when I started having to cover both my new job and my old job all day, every day until whatever distant point in the future they get around to hiring another part time person to help cover the daylight hours.

All in all, I don’t think I’m prepared for anything other than my boss growing a set of horns, donning a blindfold and running around shouting, “You are not prepared!” a whole lot.2

I can totally see that happening. He kind of sucks.

Anyhow, what with work and the dragging sensation of sleep deprivation, my WoW playing time has all but evaporated lately. I’ve been averaging about 10 minutes per day during the week: just long enough to do farm dailies and think about how I really ought to run a random heroic or something. Those VP apparently won’t farm themselves and I’m only halfway towards Wrathion’s 6000 VP demand.

That guy also sucks.

As does WoW Santa, who refuses to cough up the Sha touched weapon already.

Ahem. Anyway.

Oh yes. My brain is lagging and so is my internet connection. It totally fucked me over last Sunday during the raid and though my ISP has claimed to have fixed the issue, they have not. Really, just no. I would call them, but honestly? I don’t do phones and so I need to make At take care of that.

Too bad he’s been gone all week. When he gets home tomorrow, I won’t greet him with anything other than a demand he call up and yell at those lying liars until they do get me back to an acceptable rate of play.

So yeah. Lagging out. It’s been the story of my life lately. How are you guys doing?

  1. But I’m quite sleepy
  2. Although, if he also ditches his shirt and runs around all bare-chested, I’ll cry. A lot.
Posted in Real Life, Senseless Blah Blah | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off

One Word

I don’t know how many of you have heard of One Word. I’ve known about it for a few years now, but I haven’t ever bothered to try to fine one word that could sum up my whole intentions for a year. Well, this year, my One Word came easily.

Focus.

A direction. A center. A point of concentration. Directed attention.

Focus is the thing I want to bring to the areas of life where I want to achieve better things this year. With that in mind, I’ve made a mental list of those areas and ways to hone in on them. My health is easy: I need to get back on task with Weight Watchers and focusing on staying within my limitations. I need to refocus on making fitness and weight loss a priority.

Another big area I see is that I need to find focus for my writing. I’ve been telling myself for the past year or two that it didn’t matter what I was writing just so long as I was writing something. But this year, I want to break out of that mindset. It’s true that I have done a lot of writing, but all of it is incomplete. I need to focus not only on making writing a part of my daily life, but I need to focus on no more than one or two things at a time if I am ever going to finish any of them. I need to focus on finishing.

In gaming, I want to refocus my energy on my main outside of the standard “VP capping/stay abreast of major class changes and theorycrafting.” I want to focus on my skills as a mage and my own ability to react mentally and physically to mechanics, even if they are unexpected. This means I’ll be dipping my toes into more PVP, as it’s the best place I can think of to challenge myself with bettering my reflexes and thinking on my feet.

There are more personal areas to focus on as well. I want to give my social life more attention this year, whether it’s spending more time nurturing my long-distance relationships with old friends or time spent actively trying to forge new friendships with people who are local.

With anything I do, I would like to give it my full attention as I am doing it. I would like to take the time to do it well.

Do you have a One Word?

Posted in Mage Related, Real Life, Writing | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Minipost: Stealing from Rades

So I was out pet battling today and was in Moonglade trying to capture a Silky Moth when I saw something sparkling in the distance.

Sparkles may have been added to this shot.

Not being a gatherer of anything other than cloth on Alas, I decided to investigate.

And what did I see, but a bunch of fish out of water. Fish who think they are flying fish.

With love and apologies to Rades

 

This post is hella lame, especially as it is a blatant ripoff of a genuinely amusing post that made a much better go at story-telling. But I couldn’t resist. And, you know, imitation. Sincere flattery. All that.

Happy New Year, everyone! Don’t drive drunk unless it is on a Kodo. In Azeroth.

Posted in Acts of Lameness, Screenshots | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Dear Blizzard Santa

Dear Blizzard Santa,

I just wanted to write and “thank” you for the lovely animal carcass balls I received from you this year in Ironforge. I’ll be sure to have a good time pretending to play soccer in game, especially since I already pretend to play it with my nephews in real life. Well, I’m playing it just fine. Those two either haven’t figured out the no-hands rule or they’re in training to be goalies.

I digress.

The main thing I wanted to point out to you, Blizzard Santa, is that the only thing I actually asked for this year was a weapon upgrade. I’m not trying to be greedy, but that weapon is the only thing that stands between me and having a full complement of epics, the better to kill the bad guys with. It it also the only thing I need in order to make good use of the present Wrathion gave to me.

I feel as though I have been a fairly good girl this year, Blizzard Santa. I have done my dailies and won the admiration of every faction available to me in this new land of Pandaria. I keep up with my gemming and enchanting and do everything I can to be an asset to my guild. I even make flasks and feasts for my guild to use in raids and sometimes will drop a feast and then go ahead and eat from my own personal store of Mogu Fish Stew just so that I can say I am giving myself every possible edge.

In addition, I have been charitable with both my gold and my crafting materials and have given much to those who are more lazy less fortunate in their ability to get these things for themselves.

To go on for much longer would, I think, start to sound less like a case for my good behavior and more like bragging. But I have been good, Blizzard Santa, and I know Christmas is over, but I was hoping that you could find it in your heart, this Winter Veil Season, to arrange for a weapon for me. This will require some sort of New Year’s miracle intervention, but I believe you are able to make it happen.

Sincerely,

Alas the Beloved

Posted in Acts of Lameness, Raiding, Senseless Blah Blah | Tagged , , | Comments Off

quotable quotes

I quote WoW a lot. It seeps into my daily conversation and I often find myself using a line on a coworker or a family member who knows nothing about the game and invariably end up getting funny looks. Especially since, well… here are some of my favorites:

1. Come closer! Come closer and BURN!

2. Time for fun! (You’ll be sorry!) (Time for fun!)1

3. Your pathetic [whatever] betraaaaays you!

4. Run away little girl! Run away…

5. Alas SMASH! You die!

Am I alone in this? Do you guys quote WoW? Which lines are your favorites?2

 

  1. Anyone else remember the way that guy would glitch sometimes and just keep yelling his phrases back to back?
  2. And why are mine mostly violent?
Posted in Acts of Lameness, Senseless Blah Blah | Tagged , , , , | 11 Comments

post is unrelated

If I were smart and more patient, I’d probably do several smaller posts over a greater span of time rather than dish up another disjointed collection of the topics rattling around in my head. But patience has never been my strong suit.

And I like to pretend that randomness is an endearing quirk of mine.

I like to pretend a lot of things.

We won’t get into it now.

Since my last post

Self-indulgent QQ posts are useful, it seems. Admitting to you guys that I’ve been sucking somehow made the road to eventual pwning less daunting. I’ll be working intensively with Arcane this week and have already made decent amounts of progress in UI tweaking and action bar modifying. Throwing everything out and starting over isn’t something I like to do more than once or twice an expansion if I can help it, but apparently there is sometimes no use but to do so again and again until things feel right.

I’m nowhere near there, but I’m feeling like actual progress is being made. I’m seeing better results in stage one of spec testing than I did last time.

Also on the WoW front

After writing my last post, I had a really good chat with a guild mate last night and while a lot of it doesn’t need to be gone over here, she did confirm to me a thought I’ve been having lately. Like that I should get over myself and quit hiding out in semi-secrecy.

Okay, she didn’t put it quite like that. It doesn’t even matter how it was put. The point is, it’s been months and the batshit crazy people seem to have lost interest in me.

I bet no one cares, but my main’s name is Liosliath and I’m in Production Company on Moonrunner. (And now you can all armory me to lol at my half-assed attempt at mogging. I’m okay with it.)

I’d still like to change my name to Alas-something, but despite finding good Alas-based names for some of my alts, nothing has seemed quite right for my main. So it’s Liosliath until something better happens along and isn’t already taken. (If you have an idea, hit me with it. I will make you mana pudding.)

Also? My BattleTag is Alexx#1204. It’s entirely possible that I will accept friend requests from anyone deranged enough to send it my way.

Moving on is important and I’mma do it. Bluntly and randomly, as is my wont when I finally make up my mind about something.

A real life thing

Speaking of moving on. This morning, as I debated what to wear, I grabbed a pair of pants from my closet thinking I would try them on just to see how I was doing. I have several items like this in my closet that serve as goal posts on my path back to a healthy weight.

This particular pair of pants has been a major goal of mine ever since I started losing. If I could fit into them, I would be back to where I was before I started working in IT, got horribly depressed and started drinking way too much.

I don’t mind talking numbers for a minute, so let me explain that in the 2.5 years I worked that IT job, I went from a size 12 to a size 20 and most of that came within a span of only about 9 months. Talk about getting stretch marks without even getting a baby to show for it. The most I weighed in my life was when I quit that job and moved back home and I was tipping the scales at 210 pounds.

I’m still overweight, but dammit1, I made it back into those pants.

It’s a goddamn2 personal triumph. And I am proud of myself for having made it this far, which is good, because it’s been discouraging lately to see how far I still have to go.

But today, I see more clearly how far I have come. I see how I have undone that time of depression. I see how I have clawed myself at least partway out of the pit.

And maybe this post isn’t as unrelated as I initially supposed. Because everywhere I look, I see that hard work will eventually pay off. And being open isn’t that fucking3 hard.

  1. I don’t know why I’m swearing so much in this section.
  2. There I go again. I’m happy. Honest!
  3. It’s like a sickness with me.
Posted in Acts of Lameness, Real Life, Senseless Blah Blah, Weight Loss Wednesday | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments